OK so you have been together for a while, a few years perhaps and maybe you even live together. Which will certainly make this harder than it needs to be. The way you behave around each other isn’t what it once was. Gone are the days of sipping Chardonnay in a posh cocktail bar. It’s more of a case of hanging out in your pj’s on a Saturday and arguing about who has control of the remote. Day to day living consists of pleasing yourself rather than pleasing your partner. The mere notion of making the teas on a Sunday astounds you, seeing as ‘he never makes them for me’. There used to be a time when you couldn’t do enough for each other. Little notes by the bed, offering to make his favourite dinner, he’d be your personal chauffeur on a night out just so he could spend some time with you. Simple pleasures like spending the day in the park together would be the happiest times. Snuggling up to watch a film on a Saturday would be your idea of heaven, a few candles and a bottle of fizz to while the evening away.
Fast forward 3 years and simply being together is not enough anymore. You argue over the most mundane duties. You wake up and go to bed at separate times. When it comes to backing each other’s corner you find yourself going against each other instead of sticking up for each other. Although you are couple in the literal sense, you couldn’t be further apart if you tried. Your mere entities living together in a house filled with nothingness.
So what keeps us holding on for so long in these dismal relationships?! Is the mere notion of being single and back on the market that stressful that you would rather spend your days with someone you don’t even really like anymore? Do we think that we have failed by walking away? The real failure is hanging onto something when its already slipped through your fingers. As this is what it comes down to, you can still love someone but not like them very much in the end. Love them but not be in love with them. Clinging onto to these negative relationships because we are scared of being alone, we cling onto them because we think that the relationship will change. OK sometimes it does (but for how long does that ever last) and on the occasions that it doesn’t then you need to know when it’s time to say goodbye.
It’s time to say goodbye when you’re having more fun with other people and not each other. When you realise that he’s never going to take your side in an argument. When you realise that you’re not a team anymore, you just happen to be on the same side. It’s time to say goodbye, when he tries to change you. Or the simple fact that since you have been together you have changed so much that people don’t even recognise you anymore. (OK that’s another article altogether!). If your favourite time of day isn’t when your man walks through the door then it’s time to close the door on the relationship! Yes every couple argues and goes through dodgy patches, but when it’s more often than not then please for the love of god move on! Life is too short to stay with someone when you’re only half into it. Cut the cord, break the mould and find a new model. You will be stronger for it.
There’s a whole world of wonderful beings out there ready to date you and treat you like a princess, I’m sure of it….
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