My last article saw me about a month into the ‘Tinder Experience’. Back then, it was still early days, and I wasn’t being overly selective with who I chose to have online chats with or chose to meet. Since I first downloaded the app in July, the learning curve has been steep.
Tinder was my first foray into the murky pool of online dating, and I have to admit I became addicted very quickly. I was being called ‘beautiful’ or ‘stunning’ pretty much on a daily basis, and let’s face it what girl wouldn’t love that? The great thing about Tinder is that you’re only allowed to send messages to someone if you’ve both liked each other’s profiles, so at least these compliments were coming from guys I had already liked the look of. I’ve recently joined Plenty Of Fish (aka Plenty Of Freaks), where literally anyone can message you, and some of the stuff I’ve received on there has been jaw-droppingly weird/perverted/rude.
So, moving forwards: on to the dates themselves. So far I’ve been on a total of 10 first dates through Tinder with quite a varied bunch of guys. A civil servant, an engineer, a project manager, a digital marketing executive, an accountant, a portfolio manager, an estate agent, an IT sales specialist, and investment banker and a guy who’s job completely baffled me and I’m not too sure how to describe it (he was very boring so it was difficult to take in much of the drone). Out of the ten, only four made it to second date status, and fewer still to the third. Am I still single? Yes. Am I still going on dates? Yes. I think the first Tinder wedding is quite a way off yet.
What has been a complete revelation is how different can be in person from how they come across in written form. As a total newbie to the online dating scene, this conundrum hadn’t really been presented to me before. Everyone I’ve ever texted I’d met previously at least for a few minutes: long enough to get some idea of their personality. I can think of at least three dates where the guy turned out to be no way near as funny or charming or flirtatious as they were via WhatsApp. Which got me to thinking: have any of them thought the same of me?
A few dates have definitely stood out from the others. There was a first where I got so drunk that I could barely walk and had to be pretty much held up whilst attempting to dance in a bar where there is no dance floor (http://singlechicksblog.com/2013/10/02/how-not-to/). And yes I did hear from him again, shockingly enough. There was the time I got taken for a ten-course taster menu at a newly-opened restaurant in Clapham, which I never would have done of my own accord. There was also the date where I agreed to go on a run with someone. Hey if a guy can still be attracted to you at the end of a 5k run then surely that’s a good sign??
There have also been the dates that never happened. By this I mean you get to the point in messaging someone where you agree to meet for a drink. One of you has to reschedule at the last minute. A few days later you’re mulling over outfit choices again for tomorrow’s re-arranged date, only to have it postponed once more. Having been through this several times now, I know that a double reschedule means you should drop the guy and move on. In a similar vein, it seems that it’s quite normal to have a ‘conversation’ with someone (via WhatsApp or Tinder) that lasts for weeks but neither side makes to move to meet up. Again, not worth the time or hassle.
Overall, Tinder’s been a bit hit-and-miss, but I’m having fun and enjoying being taken out on dates. Plenty of Fish has been thoroughly entertaining in throwing up the downright strange dregs of society that can be found on the internet, and who knows there might be a couple of potentials on there. In a less tangible sense, Tinder has done a lot more for me in that it has made me re-think my attitude towards online dating. Before the summer, I was firmly believed that places like Match.com were purely for the desperate older people who thought they were going to find The One on the internet. But now I realise that this is not the case. To put it simply: it’s hard to escape the weirdos in a bar, but it’s easy to block them on the internet. Online dating means you can filter out the crazy ones (to a certain extent), and also have that boring where-do-you-work-where-are-you-from chat without having to shout over some awful Miley Cyrus remix.
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