As always there has to be some moral to my articles, and so I am not just talking about the fantastic meal that was prepared for me the other weekend taken from page 216 of the book ‘three good things on a plate’ …thank you Hugh and thank you Neil. The connotation is of course connected to men, dating and relationships.
So three good things on a plate…. On a purely sustenance level, for me that would be tall, intelligent and confident. Thinking about some of my friends this could also extend to dark, mysterious and Arabic or affluent, career-focused and fit or just fit, fit, fit.
What whets the palette of a woman? Well I have to say page 216 certainly did it for me; however the tastes of a woman are plentiful and quite diverse thankfully, as men on the menu can sometimes be a disappointment, possibly not extending beyond an aperitif!
So how can you ensure that the three things you get on your plate are exactly what you ordered? Well I will let you into a secret, you can’t – even though you invest time in preparing, seasoning and then cooking your dish the end result could be bland and inedible.
So what are the options – do we invest time into nurturing the raw ingredients, making sure that the person in question feels loved, wanted, appreciated before we cut and dice the starter? Do we skip to the main course and hope that we have made the right selection or do we pick at dessert and not regret the morning after?
Living my life and fantasies through other people’s experiences and interludes I guess has made be more astute in terms of what women are prepared to accept, digest and experience (I am so smiling).
Men are like cuisines – not cupcakes this time, although we haven’t reached dessert! What do we want on our plates, what are we prepared to stomach I guess? Considering the options that women have when it comes to dating and relationships, sometimes it is difficult to find one good thing on a plate, forget the three!
Finding a love interest who is your equal, or more in terms of whatever criteria you have set whether it is intellect, emotional stability or professional standing has to contribute to one of the good things on the plate. For me if there is no intellect then there is no starter. To find a man who can stimulate, debate, philosophise and challenge me mentally presents the first good thing. So on to the main course and again the options criteria become more diverse and more demanding. To form the second good thing on the plate there has to be a connection, a spark, something that makes the starter digestible and the temptation of the dessert sustainable. The connection again, doesn’t need to be physical and I think this is where modern day dating and relationships fall apart because women and men want it all, the ideology of a perfect partner, good looking, fantastic in bed, charming, mentally stable, no baggage or hang-ups, no wife, husband or partner concealed away from public viewing.
C’mon I am not saying you should have to compromise but, you can’t necessarily have it all either. To be treated with respect and ok, like a princess, to feel special and wanted and to an extent feel like yourself when you are around this person, must be deserving of the second good thing on a plate ….. Yeah ok the sex has to be good also. The main course has to be cooked to your tastes and likes and yes, you might have got medium rare instead of rare but, do you know what, if the seasoning and flavour doesn’t make you choke ‘man-up’ and eat it!
Now the third good thing on a plate is what extends beyond the first and even second date, and forms the basis of a relationship ….This is the hard one. The third contributor – dessert is the most difficult because it involves letting go. If you have had bad relationship experiences in the past or you have been single for a while and are used to your own company and idiocracies then un-shielding your emotions, letting down your boundaries and allowing somebody else to encroach is hard.
To complete your selection of three good things on a plate you have to release and trust and have that feeling of security. If you don’t feel secure then the chances are that you will put down your napkin, make your excuse and leave the table.
So, three good things on a plate … for a successful relationship to blossom you have to have them all, starter, main and dessert. Each provide their calorific and nutritional intake, each of them combine together to fulfil and sustain, and depending upon the menu selection you could find that actually you haven’t compromised at all – you have evolved, and the person you end up with far exceeds the stringent ingredient list that you came to the table with.
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