The Single’s Guide to Valentines Day – Duck vs. Swan

Another Valentine’s day has come and gone. Being single, it’s always interesting to note what such a day brings up for me and my single friends. For many, they will get to consider whether they are the ugly duckling or a swan, just like in the story. Which are you?

For me, it’s a great way to work on the most important relationship in my life – the one with myself.

This year I thought that I’d make a day of it and spoil myself!

Step 1 – an extra half an hour in bed to read – and feeling good about it.

Step 2 – off for breakfast and a note pad to write out my to do list, taking time to slow down and really taste my food.

Step 3 – a walk in the park, on what was a lovely, sunny day for mid- February. Use this opportunity to phone some friends who I haven’t been in touch with for a while (always an uplifting experience.)

Step 4 – go home and do all of the tasks that I had been putting off for ages (I know that incomplete tasks drain energy but do no always use this information wisely. Today I did.)

Step 5 – notice how much more energised I feel by completing those draining tasks that I had been putting off and by catching up with positive people who always energise my day.

Step 6 – off for another walk and more of the same.

Step 7 – off to the gym, noticing that everything seems easier today. Add an extended period for the sauna, where I get chatting to new people and have a laugh.

Step 8 – back home to sing (I use this term in its broadest context!) and dance to music as I make my dinner.

Step 9 – sit back and relax to a few episodes of the West Wing.

Step 10 – meditation, reflecting on a good day, where I am grateful for my health, my family, my friends and the magic life brings when I really love myself.

Step 11 – fall asleep giving myself an energetic massage.

I am not always as kind to myself as I was yesterday but it has made me realise that for anyone who is single, indeed also for anyone who is not – the best relationship that anyone can work on is the one with themselves.

Ultimately, if I don’t love myself, how could I possibly love someone else in a way that accepts that EVERYONE has their imperfections. When the rose tinted glasses finally come off in a relationship, this is when the ability to love oneself is integral to being able to live with, and love, anyone else. I have been tough on myself on many occasions – not yesterday and not today.

When I master this on a daily basis, I will have found the perfect relationship.

I may not be a swan everyday, but I am today.

What can you do to love yourself better?

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About Adam Shaw

Adam Shaw grew up within the grounds of a Psychiatric Hospital, where his parents worked and lived. Since commencing his own career as a health professional in 1992, he has qualified in several fields of health, including nursing, Reiki, NLP, Hypnosis and Vortex Healing. During his career he has worked with thousands of people with health challenges, journeying into the deeper-rooted realms of wellness. He has now created The Secrets of a Cardiac Nurse - The Prescription Doctors Don't Give, a step-by-step guide to better health and wellbeing and now shares his learnings through writing, speaking and events. He provides on-line resources via his website Follow Adam on Twitter @adam_shaw
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