Another Valentineâ€™s day has come and gone. Being single, itâ€™s always interesting to note what such a day brings up for me and my single friends. For many, they will get to consider whether they are the ugly duckling or a swan, just like in the story. Which are you?
For me, itâ€™s a great way to work on the most important relationship in my life â€“ the one with myself.
This year I thought that Iâ€™d make a day of it and spoil myself!
Step 1Â â€“ an extra half an hour in bed to read â€“ and feeling good about it.
Step 2Â â€“ off for breakfast and a note pad to write out my to do list, taking time to slow down and really taste my food.
Step 3Â â€“ a walk in the park, on what was a lovely, sunny day for mid- February. Use this opportunity to phone some friends who I havenâ€™t been in touch with for a while (always an uplifting experience.)
Step 4Â – go home and do all of the tasks that I had been putting off for ages (I know that incomplete tasks drain energy but do no always use this information wisely. Today I did.)
Step 5Â â€“ notice how much more energised I feel by completing those draining tasks that I had been putting off and by catching up with positive people who always energise my day.
Step 6Â â€“ off for another walk and more of the same.
Step 7Â – off to the gym, noticing that everything seems easier today. Add an extended period for the sauna, where I get chatting to new people and have a laugh.
Step 8Â â€“ back home to sing (I use this term in its broadest context!) and dance to music as I make my dinner.
Step 9Â â€“ sit back and relax to a few episodes of the West Wing.
Step 10Â â€“ meditation, reflecting on a good day, where I am grateful for my health, my family, my friends and the magic life brings when I really love myself.
Step 11Â â€“ fall asleep giving myself an energetic massage.
I am not always as kind to myself as I was yesterday but it has made me realise that for anyone who is single, indeed also for anyone who is not â€“ the best relationship that anyone can work on is the one with themselves.
Ultimately, if I donâ€™t love myself, how could I possibly love someone else in a way that accepts that EVERYONE has their imperfections. When the rose tinted glasses finally come off in a relationship, this is when the ability to love oneself is integral to being able to live with, and love, anyone else. I have been tough on myself on many occasions â€“ not yesterday and not today.
When I master this on a daily basis, I will have found the perfect relationship.
I may not be a swan everyday, but I am today.
What can you do to love yourself better?
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