Drunken Holiday Flings… Not A Good Look!

Having recently returned from a week in Portugal I noticed how full of Brits and Irish people it was.  I can’t say that this was what I was expecting, I never really choose to go abroad to be surrounded by people from my home town.  Nevertheless I was with my man and no amount of build me up buttercup was going to put a dampener on my hols.  There was a lovely little square in the centre dubbed ‘The Old Town’ which was full of cute little fish restaurants along the seafront and some not so cute British looking bars.  There were however a lot of young families and couple frequenting these places (and the odd stag do which we tried to avoid of course).

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One day we decided to check out ‘The Strip’ in a different part of town.  Not to be confused with the Las Vegas Strip and everything glorious it has to hold there.  This strip however was a debauchery of loud English stag and hen do’s, followed by even louder northern lasses looking for a “good time”.  I use the word good loosely as who knows how good anything is after 8 Jagerbombs and 12 double vodka and cokes.

Neon lights and the promise of 2-4-1 jelly shots at happy hour engulf these randy holiday makers.  What makes for a sexy 3am finish?  An abundance of alcohol and a Bon Jovi track to boot.  ‘Yes we really are halfway there’.  Brummie girls followed by young Irish men fill the streets of the Portugal strip tonight.

What makes these holiday makers sleep with whatever is on offer at that time at night? Girls in bikinis, guys with six packs all smelling of Hawaiian Tropic in the midday sun is just the beginning of Temptation Island for that week.  Drinking in the heat equipped with half naked testosterone roaming the sand dunes is enough to make many people turn on their backs.  Some of these girls and guys may not dream of partaking in such tom-foolery  back on home turf.  Men and women who have come on these single sex holidays.  You know the ones ‘Whores on tour’ or ‘Stags to Shag’.  They suddenly forget all about their relationships back home and the rules of relationship norms.  I.e. no sexy cuddles on the beach or on frolicking under clothes on the dance floor (because that still counts you know).  Partners are forgotten back home for some of these amorous holidaymakers and the next 7 days are a free for all apparently.   It’s a no holds barred 2 for the price of 1 action.

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The thrill of being in a different country, a hot Irish accent and endless fishbowl cocktails is all too tempting for some happy campers.   Sleeping with a stranger on holiday is seen as more acceptable than sleeping with someone from your local apparently.  It’s totally acceptable and more often than not encouraged.  ‘Oh you’re on holiday, have some fun’ or ‘what happens on the strip, stays in the strip’.  Until pictures get posted on Facebook that is.  It can become like a huge challenge for people out there to sleep with as many people as possible in the time they have.  Sun worshippers getting as drunk as humanly possible and putting the evening’s actions down to ‘maybe my drink got spiked’ and acute memory loss it would seem.

The more notches in the sand the better, especially for the girls it can seem.  However try this one nighter action back at home and you take the name fishbowl to a whole other level.

How is the One Night Stand Perceived?

It’s 2 am. It’s Friday night and the only thing you’ve had down your throat this evening is vodka tonics and the dirty blonde who’s name you don’t care to remember.  The bar is ready to close up soon but the two of you are not done partying.  The choice is a bag of chips in the kebab shop which may well give you too much time to sober up; or back to theirs for a few warm coronas and a warm bed perhaps?

So you take a taxi back together and continue the party till the wee small hours.  Laughing, kissing and telling each other how beautiful you look tonight are all part of the fun.  A few more drinks perhaps (or maybe a coffee after you have stumbled in your Kurt Geiger’s through the door) and let the good times roll.

Next morning can be an awkward flurry of gathering up clothes and trying to rush out the door before his house-mates spot you.  Or it can turn ugly, he won’t leave and is hanging around until well into Saturday Kitchen.  You’ve politely made him a cup of tea and after another hour you make your excuses as to having a date with your nursing home granny for lunch and no he can’t come.

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The problem is with a one night stand, is can be a drunken bit of fun when both parties want the same thing.  However once the curtains are drawn and the sheets need to be changed, a cold harsh reality sets in.  So how do men and women actually feel about each other after a one night stand?  What vibe does it give off to the other person?  The general consensus for both parties was that one night stands were a bit of fun and nothing more.  As lovely as the night may be, one night stands make no room for potential partners or someone you would like to take home to mum (or granny).

A one night stand gives off a slightly sleazy vibe; they are generally not something you can build a relationship on.  The reason being is that once that barrier has been broken, there’s no going back.  There’s no room for playing hard to get or trying to be aloof as you have already given up the goods at the first hurdle.  Of course there is an exception to the rule where one couple did go on to get married I suppose but remember it’s called an exception for a reason.

Some of the women I spoke to admitted that one night stands were not for them, purely for emotional reasons.  Some women will just generally get attached too quickly; once opening up sexually and emotionally to someone to not have this followed through with a relationship or even a second date can be too detrimental for them.

Men will generally feel elated, manly and full of meaty testosterone the night after a one night stand.  Whereas women will generally feel like they have just unwittingly notched another pointless gash on the bedpost.  As fun as it maybe there’s always a slight hint of shamefulness when your flagging a cab down in last night’s undies

Going into a one night stand can be like going into battle, you need lots of protection and not let your emotions get involved if you’re going to make it through the night.  Hard hats and hard hearts at the ready.  The only way to salvage any dignity is to scuttle out the door early enough leave him wanting more and hope that you wore jeans out that night instead of a micro mini when trying to flag your cab down.

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Will there be a next generation?

Chlamydia infections are known to have an impact on female reproductive organs, but with new research now indicating an infection can cause male infertility it seems there is no place those unseen beasts will not venture to stop us multiplying.

With 89 million new cases being reported a year globally, it is no surprise that Chlamydia is one of the most ubiquitous sexually transmitted infections caused by the pathogenic bacterium Chlamydia trachomatis. The infections are fast proving to be both deadly, as worldwide the magnitude of morbidity is enormous and difficult to diagnose with most victims not experiencing any symptoms whatsoever.

While the list of complications which can arise from Chlamydia trachomatis infection seems to be an endless one, it is pelvic inflammatory disease which threatens fertility so the fact that numbers have shot up over the past twenty years is horrifically ominous. Approximately 20 % of women with Chlamydia lower genital tract infection will develop pelvic inflammatory disease, of which 3% will be rendered infertile and 2% getting adverse pregnancy outcomes. Essentially Chlamydia trachomatis is an obligate intracellular bacterium, upon breaking an entry into the body; its cells lynch onto to fallopian tube cells’ microvillus and multiply before lyses. ‘Confocal microscopy’ has now confirmed that the bacterium disrupted the homeostasis of epithelial tissue in fallopian tubes by activating panacrine wnt signalling in turn this not only damages infected epithelial cells but also uninfected cells beyond. With pelvic inflammation disease numbers escalating a secondary epidemic of tubular factor infertility as well as ectopic pregnancy has followed. Another study showed that the presence of antichlamydial antibodies and tubular factor infertility were closely correlated in females. IVF treatment was less effective as well as early pregnancy loss more likely when these antibodies were present. Given an infected female is pregnant, Chlamydia trachomatis can then be transmitted from mother to child during birth, leading on to yet more complications such as pneumonia.

Light is just starting to be shed on the link between Chlamydia and male infertility, however as the British Fertility Society have pointed out not enough research has been done and recent cuts to funding make the situation look even more dire. Generally, it is known that if left untreated nongonoccal urethiritis, caused by Chlamydia trachomatis, causes testicular swelling among other serious acute complications, making infertility all too possible. There is evidence that Chlamydia trachomatis could be a factor in sperm pathology, as a study examining 627 sperm samples found that those which were infected were of 14.4% lower volume, 6.4 % lower concentration and 9.3% lower velocity. Another study showed that infected sperm had three times the normal level of DNA fragmentation. However it was concluded that antibiotic treatment for Chlamydia infection can significantly improve male fertility.

An entire infertile generation may seem like an incomprehensible concept, however as antibiotic resistance remains rife; the day may come when we can no longer keep up with the unseen world’s evolution.

The Erotica Phenomenon for Modern Girls

Erotica is no longer confined to the pages of Mills and Boon, read in private typically by housewives and elderly ladies who live alone. With the arrival of the internet this once hidden past time has now found a way to reach the wider community with readers being able to pen their own fantasises anonymously on sites such as Fanfiction.net. This access has lead to books such as Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey storming the literacy world and while academics are puzzled to why such poorly written novels are popular the answer itself is very simple.

It’s sex.

The purpose of erotica is provide its reader with a pleasurable fantasy in which for a few hours they can escape reality. Readers can switch off, and be turned on, by these sensual stories in the same way that many do by watching porn. The only reason why this “Mummy Porn” is so controversial is because people are no longer ashamed to read such things in public.

We as a species are embarrassed by the human necessity of sex, religion portrays it as sinful, culture dictates that it should not be spoken of and on a whole we are intimidated by the power of pleasure. Now that some people are comfortable with the fact that desire for sexual stimulation is a healthy part of human nature the rest of us are running round scared. Remarks about the written quality of such books are just desperate attempts to shame erotica back into hiding. Fans of the genre don’t chose these books for their depth or intellectual insight rather they chose them for their ability to satisfy their desires. Just because one enjoys the guilty thrill of erotica every now and again does not mean they are incapable of appreciating classics as well.

Twilight for many young girls, including myself, opened the doors to sexual fantasy. Though the story itself was poorly constructed with a somewhat abusive relationship it provided the opportunity to get to grips with the confusing desires that accompany puberty. For many teenagers this a is a difficult time period because they simply have no one to talk comfortably about the strange new feelings they are experiencing which increases the appeal to hide among the safety of books.

If as society we more honest and accepting about sex these stories wouldn’t be such a big deal as we would be confident in ourselves and our desires. Even if that includes fantasizing about a 104 year old virgin vampire.

Image reproduced from digitalcitizen.ca and hammerandquill.com

10 Reasons Why You SHOULD Have Sex Before Marriage

This is a topic which I know that many people feel very strongly about.  It’s still quite a controversial issue for some people.  You don’t have to be Christian or Amish to appreciate the sweet taste of abstaining it’s something that many people decide to take control of and is almost a rite of passage for some.  However If any of my beautiful readers were thinking about abstaining until marriage then here are a few reasons why it might work in your favour not to.

1. Having sex with just one partner your whole life?  Now where the fun in that?  This does not make for very exciting girlie gossip!  Now this maybe ok for the likes of Romeo and Juliet or Cinderella.  But the fact of the matter is one person your whole life is a waste of sexual prowess.  I’m not saying spread yourself too thinly around the estate, but kiss a shirt and shoes combo’s until you know what you actually like.

2. There might not be any chemistry between the two of you.  Of course he’s a hottie and you’re a hottie but that doesn’t make for fantastic sex between the two of you.  Shame really as it would make life a lot simpler if every hot guy was great in bed!  Sadly though this is not the case and tight buns do not make for porn star sex.

3. What if after all the years of self-medicating you realise that your marriage guy turns out to be more socks in the sack than sex god.  He may not know is G spot from his G string and surely that’s going to be detrimental for any marriage!

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4. What if you have chosen the wrong sex? You wait all this time to marry the man of your dreams and find the one only to realise its chicks you like instead.  You haven’t experienced your sexuality in your 20’s like you are supposed to!  If you have never tried kissing or being with someone of the same sex (or anyone for that matter) how do you know that you’re sure that’s what you like?  Sexuality is a minefield in the lead up to adulthood, experience as much as you can before you get married as once you’re married its frowned upon to be sleeping with your best mate apparently.

5. Size.  Look I’m sorry but unless you have experience a few altercations with the odd small fry then you’re not going to know how to handle it.  Now I’m not saying bigger is better, not at all, it’s just that some questionable sizes may need a little more manoeuvring than others.  It’s always nice to have a little warning before you marry into the goods.  Instead of getting down on your wedding day to Justin (Just In geddit)

6. Size.  Now just as big can be as shocking a just as small, a lot of work and preparation also goes into the work of a very large, very well endowed member.  A girl will need some time to prepare (3 months of pelvic floor exercises should do it)

7. Being on the same sexual wave length.  What if you decide you like some ‘red room’ treatment but your new found married guy is more of a lights off under the sheets kind of guy?  Hoping to get spanked but only receiving a light hearted tickle will make for very long, very cold winter nights.

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8. Not having anyone to compare your partner to.  If you have no one to compare them too then how will you know how to do things?  And more importantly how you like things to be done to you.   This can make for very frustrating love making at times!

9. What if you don’t get married until you 60?  Deciding to wait until sex before marriage and then realising that you haven’t actually found anyone would be detrimental!  I’m not saying do it with the first tom, dick at traffic light night but sometimes being too cautious and too picky can make for unrealistic goals.  There are a lot of great guys out there, sure not all are marriage material but many are great practise runs.  As my mum says you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince. You would have gone your whole life with nothing but a pet rabbit for company.

10. The first time hurts.  Get that out the way before your wedding night, otherwise it’s some awkward manoeuvres in the dark and some slow, painful sex.  Hmm romantic.

Film Review – American Pie: Reunion

With the latest release of the Marvel franchise, Avengers Assemble, hitting our screens last month, it is little surprise that one of the year’s hotly anticipated sequels, American Pie: Reunion, somewhat slipped under the wire. The fourth of the original series, the eight of the overall franchise, this instalment saw all of the class of ’99 return for a cameo-filled romp of middle-aged men, trying to recapture adolescence, rekindling their lost friendships. As a fine blend of sentimentality, humour and awkward situations, American Reunion is a great watch for anybody in search of a good laugh, whether an avid fan of the originals or not.

The biggest drawing point that the film seemed to have was that, unlike American Pie: The Wedding, the entire cast were back, including the much missed Chris “Oz” Ostreicher. However, unlike the film’s trailer suggests, his was the only return that carried much calibre. Token minute-long appearances from great characters, such as Sherman, Jessica and Nadia were rather unnecessary to plot development and very far from the trailer’s original set-up. On first viewing, this was a bit of a disappointment, as the nostalgia that the film encompasses was not all there.

However, after a second viewing, this film really comes in to its element. Less a story about five men in mid-life crises, searching for true love or life’s meaning, the final instalment is more a tale of friendship than any of its predecessors. After settling down, making their names, establishing themselves in routines, the four men realise that it is their friendship with one another that are missing from everything they have.

For those who immediately dismiss sequels, abhorring their attempts to outclass their predecessor, do not be put off by this film. Admittedly, the first film is the champion of the series – not one of the sequels has come close to the magic that that bought to our screen. However, the battle for second place is now hotly contested with this and American Pie 2. Both have their flaws, yet both are wonderfully funny. The final scenes featuring Jim’s Dad, the MILF guys and, this time, Finch’s mum, are hilarious, unprecedented and still reminiscent of the original films.

The biggest negative that came from this film was the constant references to modern times. Where some films use subtle reference to Facebook, or other social networking sites, one of the key elements to this film is the lack of communication between Sean William-Scott’s Stifler and his neglectful friends. It seemed too tacked on, as a way of showing that the characters have definitely progressed from the nineties – something that is not at all obvious from their seemingly unchanged appearances.

This film does a very good job in rounding off the series. Fans who were disappointed with American Pie: The Wedding, and the questionable spin-offs, can rest easy in knowing that their favourite characters can still all get together and produce some of the greatest laughs that will hit our screens this year. This is a recommended must-see film of 2012.

Image reproduced from blueprintreview.co.uk
Video reproduced from YouTube / trailers