Tag Archives: question

Power Questions

  By | | ,
Comments Off on Power Questions

Part 1:

What would happen to me if I stopped judging other people?

There are many other such questions, though this is a good one to start with.

I still find myself judging others occasionally, though this now happens much less since I made a decision to focus more on my actions and less on the actions of others.

Every time we judge others we are projecting our beliefs on them. We don’t know the real reason why others act as they do. Upbringing and life experience moulds different people differently.

By judging others you judge yourself. By accepting that life is unpredictable and relatively short it is possible to spend more time thinking about how to make the most of YOUR life and less time thinking about how other’s could make the most of theirs.

Is it possible to go one day without judging anyone or anything?

What will your power question be today?

Part 2:

Ask yourself “Who do I have to forgive today to allow myself to be happier?”

Non-positive emotions towards others are not a productive way to spend your time or energy. Many people I have ever coached or spoken to about health issues, especially those who were admitted to hospital, have deep-rooted family anger.

For many years I shared this tendency. Family issues have been passed down for generations. Usually, the abuser has been abused and learnt the same unconscious behavioral patterns as the person who they blame the most. Consequently, through continued focus on the problem, they have become the problem and passed it on. I have watched many people die rather than change the pattern and their story.

Life will always present you with people who will blame you for things that they do not fully understand. By learning to forgive others you will learn to forgive yourself. From this place you will become empowered. EVERYTHING that happens to you can be used to do one of two things….

1. Create a story that places you as a victim and allows you to drain energy from yourself and anyone who is sympathetic or unfortunate enough to listen to it. or

2. Learn the lessons, move on and help and inspire others as you give them the positive energy of your insight.

I’m choosing to love every lesson that my family has ever taught and be happy that I am able to learn and grow from even the most challenging of circumstances.

You can do the same and Walk Innovation can show you how.

Image reproduced from http://2.bp.blogspot.com

How Do We Rid Ourselves of Negative Emotions?

  By | |
Comments Off on How Do We Rid Ourselves of Negative Emotions?

London Life Coach & Clinical Hypnotherapist Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about negative emotions. Follow Sloan on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s website www.sloansw.com

Thank you for your question. There are many ways to rid ourselves of unwanted negative emotions but further to my response on energy therapies in one of my previous articles I thought it would be interesting to look at how we rid ourselves from negative emotions via energy psychology. There are other ways to deal with the same issue and as most people reading this will know, as a hypnotherapist/life coach myself I also use those techniques when addressing this problem. However, for the purposes of this article I am going to focus mainly on energy therapy.

How do we rid ourselves of negative emotions?

The basic factor that encapsulates energy psychology and all other meridian energy therapies is the fact that they base themselves on the belief that “All negative emotions are caused by a disruption in the body’s energy system.”

This disruption can be measured and is calibrated in units called SUD also known as Standard Units of Discomfort. Such a measurement system was first used in order to evaluate a therapeutic technique called systematic desensitisation as developed by Joseph Wolpe (1958), but they are now common place and used as a standard evaluative measure of the success of energy psychology treatments. The optimum read is Zero i.e no discomfort and this is completely achievable with this form of therapy.

Often client’s come in for treatment and they say that they want to lose weight or quit smoking but however hard they try they just cannot achieve their goal. This is called psychological reversal and can be described as when the subconscious mind does not perform as the conscious mind requires. For example the client who says they want to lose weight may have a secondary gain embedded in their subconscious that prevents them from carrying out their conscious will, perhaps their love of food, or a belief that thin people are unhappy or that thin people are unhealthy. Although these beliefs may not be based on objective facts and evidence, they will feel very real to the client and will hinder their attainment of the original goal.

These beliefs and or secondary gains will disrupt the body’s energy system, and as we saw in my previous article, they can be addressed with many of the energy psychologies available. However, I have chosen to look at EFT as devised by Gary Craig (who trained with Dr Callahan the brains behind thought Field Therapy). Gary Craig reduced TFT to make a simpler approach more accessible and applicable. Craig reduced the 361 meridian points down to 13 which are used in EFT with the first 12 being percussed no matter what the emotional upset followed by a 9 step Gamut on the 13th point.

An overview on the process I would use with a client if they came to me for a treatment in this area (if they did not want to go down the route of hypnosis) would be as follows:-

I would start with the Set up. The “Set-Up Protocol” refers to the process by which the psychological reversal (PR) is solved. It consists of finding one’s sore spot (most likely found on the right or left side of the chest). This point is a pressure point/reflex on the lymphatic system. The sorer the spot is an indication of how strong the psychological reversal. Once found the client would make an opening statement that resonates such as ‘I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself’. More often than not this will not feel comfortable for the client and we would work together on finding out how true each statement is on a scale of 1 to 10 and then re-evaluating after the percussion of all the points. Once the set up point has been calibrated the 12 step tapping routing can commence.

After completion of this the final stage is called the 9 Gamut Routine.

The 9 Gamut routine is carried out by continually tapping on the TH03 meridian point while following a 9 step routine slightly oversimplified this would be – eyes closed, eyes open, eyes down right, eyes down left, rotate eyes clockwise, rotate eyes anticlockwise, hum, count to five and hum again.   Its purpose is to engage and balance the right and left hemispheres of the brain – creating activity and balance bilaterally will also increase the number of neuron firing in each hemisphere allowing communication as well as balance.

Once this has been achieved the original statement would be re-evaluated and the client would then see how they feel about the change. More often than not clients who are new to this type of therapy are surprised at how much emotion is let go by what appears on the surface as such a simple process. The great thing about tapping is that you can do it at home and in between sessions be improving each and every day.

I am pleased to be able to use this procedure in my treatments where necessary and when the client is interested in a different approach to the issue before them. If you have any further questions contact me through City Connect, leave a comment or ask a question through our Q+A page.

Images reproduced from ehow.co.uk and attract-a-life-of-abundance.com

Should I Tell Her I Love Her?

  By | | ,
Comments Off on Should I Tell Her I Love Her?

London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams gives some relationship advice. Follow Sloan on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s website www.sloansw.com

Vincent van Gogh once said “Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done”

I’m sorry to hear that you haven’t spoken to your sister for nearly 3 years, but am pleased circumstance is throwing you a chance meet at your cousin’s wedding.

The fact that you have asked the question is a clear indicator you are looking for resolve.

A lifetime of love and not just the romantic kind but the unconditional and friendship kind. Now there’s a miracle. We all want to be loved…to be happy but we tend to be scared to show we love until someone shows us first. Our inability to show love and compassion due to the fear of rejection and the choices we make because of it, these are the things that tear us down and sabotage our happiness. However, when something bad happens, our instinct is to reach out and grab the special people around us, the ones who matter the most, the ones we take for granted all the time and tell them how precious they are to us, how knowing them makes our life better every single day that we are alive. In those moments our fear of rejection is superseded by our love.

Is there really any reason we should only have this courage in the face of adversity, death, tragedy….surely not… perhaps this wedding, a joyous occassion anyway, is the perfect place to mend the rift.

In general we all need to look to the vibes we give out before we criticise those we get back. So in summary, prepare yourself for the worst but give it your best attempt as then whatever happens you know you held up your end with dignity.

Good luck.

Dating in the Workplace – Recipe for Disaster?

  By | | ,
6 Comments

London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about workplace dating. Follow Sloan on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s website www.sloansw.com

Dating at work is definitely becoming more commonplace but just because everyone else is doing it, does that mean you should too? If that was the case then I’d dye my hair the new trendy shade of orange in the style of Pixie Geldof and watch as my clients flocked anywhere but my therapy couch!

Dating is a form of interaction - in the olden days more a courtship. With the hours of workers increasing and the recession playing its part in the reduction in socialising, is it any wonder we are looking to find love over the photocopier?

The muddy waters tend to appear if you work in very close proximity or the hierarchy of either of your positions has an effect on your working life.

I am not saying you cannot meet the perfect person for you at work, but just before you jump in with both feet, perhaps ask yourself:

1. Is this just a natural progression as we spend so much time together and we would like to get to know each other on a romantic level?

2. Would I still have chosen to date my current object of affection if I managed my time better, accepted a few more invitations out with my friends and opened myself up to meeting new people?

If your answer to the first question was yes, perhaps take the leap but don’t forget your safety net. If you answered yes to the second, run while you still can – you deserve better.

How Do I Get Over My Miscarriage?

  By | | ,
Comments Off on How Do I Get Over My Miscarriage?

London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about miscarriage, Kelly Brook and how to get over losing a baby. Follow Sloan on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s website www.sloansw.com

Thank you for your question and I am very sorry for your loss. You do not say in which trimester you were in however whenever it happened this situation is traumatic for any couple. I am very pleased to hear on a physiological level that your doctors have given you the OK to try again and have no qualms with you being successful a second time however I also understand and hear your point that although the doctors treat the physiological symptoms you only have your husband to turn to for the psychological symptoms and although it sounds like he is a rock this has obviously been hard on both of you.

The first stage you have probably already gone through is grief which is perfactly natural. Both our conscious and subconscious do not like the thought of loss and react badly to situations where there is such.

In addition your body will be going through hormonal changes which can hinder your recovery process.

The most important thing to remember here is that this is a devastating situation and there is no right or wrong way to react to such. The best advice is to sit in a room with only you and your thoughts and come up with an action plan of how long you think is suitable to accept and go with the emotions of self-pity, fear, grief, distress or guilt or whatever emotion you are feeling and make that date your deadline. Such a date can be a day from now, a week from now or a month from now however when that day comes – especially as you have a supportive partner – it is time to brave the big bad world and just do something like go out for dinner or a comedy club or the theatre and realise it’s OK to laugh and move on and although life has its mysterious twists and turns that you will bounce back from this and no-one will think any less of you whether it takes a month or a year.

A good role model and celebrity who has been in the spotlight after the loss of her daughter when she was five months into her pregnancy is Kelly Brook. Again like you her boyfriend (Thom Evans) have been supporting each other. As she has a public following, the day she finally stepped back into the real world unlike you she had to do it publicly and although Kelly has had a difficult few months, she managed to update her Twitter followers thanking them for their love and support and has finally been seen venturing out on her first public engagement in London since her miscarriage.

All of us at City Connect wish you the best for a speedy recovery and emotional bounce back. We don’t expect you to bury or hide your feelings about such a dramatic loss but I for one know that if you are strong enough to write and ask for help I have no doubt that before long you will be strong enough to return to work and your original life.

Good luck with your recovery. If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to get in touch. I also hope to hear from any of you who have gone through the same situation and have helpful tips to help and support our distressed reader. Please leave your comments below.

Image reproduced from moviezadda.com

My Business Partner is Lazy – What Should I Do?

  By | | ,
5 Comments

London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about conflict resolution and dealing with lazy colleagues. Follow Sloan on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s website www.sloansw.com

Thank you for your detailed query. I have summarised your question as above but noted all the intricacies. From your description, it seems that this type of conflict is that of the J/P divide – Judger versus Perceiver. As a Judger, some things seem obvious to you that are just a mere perception to your business partner. The best way forward is for clear communication about your needs & wants and some clear-cut goals.

What you describe as laziness is most likely his perceiving part overshadowing the more logical part. From what you describe, he is just trying to get away with what I like to call the “head in the sand manoeuvre” in the attempt that someone else will do his workload.

If you make it clear that you are unable to carry him any longer, and that you expect a fair division of work, you will no doubt find that he will pass his share of the work off on to someone else under the guise that he has too much work to do. It is this very action that should highlight to you that this is not a personal attack on you and is not your issue. Some people are just different. There is no wrong or right method but there is a method that produces a more successful end product.

To a Judger, avoiding issues and not pulling one’s weight may seem irrational but go easy on the Perceiver. The tasks you set him may not be as easy for him as they are for you and - although he is just showing his limitations - it really is not one’s place to judge. This is indeed hard for a J to hear but is being right really worth a conflict at work?

Know your own parameters, stick to them and if possible try to find the strengths in your colleague. You also appear to be an N so perhaps see if there is some common ground and look at the bigger picture rather than get tied down with the minutiae of who does what.

I Want a Baby – Is It the Right Time?

  By | | ,
Comments Off on I Want a Baby – Is It the Right Time?

London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about when to have a baby. Follow Sloan on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s website www.sloansw.com

Clearly from your question, you realise now isn’t the time for you to have a child. But it also sounds like you are not too far from your desired goal so well done for being so self-aware. They say that it is in a child’s best interest to be born into a safe, stable & nurturing relationship but you do not have to look too far to see that some celebs now show that single parenting is far more acceptable than 30 years ago.

I say this because I wish to stress it is not that you are single that makes me answer in the way that I am but, from what you have said so far, your desire to get pregnant may be tied to a need to recreate the mother-child bond you say you have missed. Perhaps the first step for you is to look into your current friendships and relationships and nuture these rather than looking for unconditional love in the wrong places.

My advice is to read some self-esteem/confidence books and realise that you are perfect just the way you are. Then gradually work on trusting just one or two of your closer friends with the little things until you realise that you are a capable individual that has a lot to offer in the world and likewise some of your friends are too.

When this all clicks, I am sure you will attract a partner that makes you happy and you will no doubt be a wonderful mother. Your past does not have to be your future. You would not drive your car looking only in the rear view mirror so there is no need to run your life like that.  Take the leap of faith and watch your desires come true. Anything is possible – you just have to believe.

First Conversations – Does He Like Me?

  By | | ,
Comments Off on First Conversations – Does He Like Me?

London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about dating, body language and finding Mr Right. Follow Sloan on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s website www.sloansw.com

I am often asked by my clients – “When meeting my potential partner for the first time, how do I know if he likes me or is the one?”.

The cliché answer given by most happily married couples is that you just know, but amongst the butterflies and the panic of what to say next, we can often miss the most obvious of signals. Below is a checklist of what to look out for to know whether it is worth moving on to a second date.

Face/Head:

We have no doubt all been trapped in those conversations where the other person is waxing lyrical about what they think is a seemingly fascinating topic but it feels like watching paint dry to us. The key to checking if you are that person with the object of your affection (OyA) is as simple as watching whether his/her face drops or lights up as you are talking. The trick to keeping them interested is to continue on with the topics that make them more facially engaged in your conversation. You can then ask them questions, opening up their involvement. Make sure you steer away from any conversations that make them disengage or worse still turn their head when the slightest noise happens in attempt to the survey the room for their escape. Such an obvious signal is a clear indication to change the subject immediately.

Body:

It is easy to spot a potential new couple that is hitting it off as their body language becomes close or mirrored. However, when in the conversation with the OyA we often miss smaller cues. If his/her body is turning away or worse still they physically take a step back, this is a sign that you have lost their interest. This could be momentary – do not fret, there is one last attempt to save such a situation. Divert all the attention back on him/her, firstly use their name and then ask a direct, personal and open ended question. If the OyA sinks back into conversation you have just saved yourself from a train wreck. Be careful to avoid whatever topic initiated that reaction and go for the close before they get distracted again. Swap phone numbers etc… leave them wanting more evoking the scarcity effect.

Hands:

Many of us know open hands is a good sign, potentially indicating honesty, but the more important cue for you is to watch out for hand signals that mean the OyA is thinking. Such signs include playing with the wine glass, reaching for something from a table or mantelpiece, playing with a lighter or match etc… these signs show contemplation and thought. This is your cue that you have hit on a topic that interests your target and is a sign to slow down, ask questions and allow room for thought and engagement.

Eyes:

For those of you who have already mastered the more obvious signs above, the tell tale sign to see if the OyA is interested in you or at least your topic of conversation is the size of their pupils. If and when they enlarge you are on to a winner, however if they shrink or worse still glance away quickly change topic and although all is not lost, do not put all your eggs in this basket!

Good luck with your next conversations with someone you like!

I’m at a Crossroads and Not Sure Which Path to Choose?

  By | | ,
Comments Off on I’m at a Crossroads and Not Sure Which Path to Choose?

London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about choices and decision making. Follow Sloan Life Coach on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s Life Coaching website www.sloansw.com

Thank you for your question. We all face choices, some harder than others but more often than not the solution is inside you. If you need extra guidance trust in those you choose to keep close to you that have always had your best interests at heart and avoid advice from those with ulterior motives that you highlight in your question.

Nathaniel Hawthorne once wrote “No man, for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true”

There are moments in all our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, and without sat nav! The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Looking at your personal crossroads, it is safe to say we all want the same thing, to look at ourselves in the mirror and find the person looking back at us is the person we want to be. Well…maybe right now you feel you still need some work, you are not alone, a lot of us do – but for every voice telling us we can’t or we won’t be that person, we need to balance that and focus on the supportive inner voices telling us how to move forward along the right path. Some of us are even lucky enough to have an inner circle of friends and family supporting us on the journey or in other cases a team of medics. It sounds from your question you have a great support network, trust in them and remember to ask for help.

There’s an old proverb that says you can’t choose your family. You take what the fates hand you. And like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not, you cope. Then there’s the school of thought that says the family you’re born into is simply a starting point. They feed you, and clothe you, and take care of you as best they can until you’re ready to go out into the world and find your tribe.

And your tribe, that inner circle, they are your soulmates, your support network, the ones you choose to love, they are also special. The ties that binds us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic. Because some ties are simply… meant to be… and some are not! But those ties, the ones that defy all odds, they are the most special…they are also family. It is these people who will help you at your crossroads.

More often than not, happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends,  good family (the ones you are given and the ones you choose) and the quiet nobility of leading a good exocentric life.

Whatever path you choose at your crossroads, wake up each morning and embrace your new path. Each morning choose to move forward and do not contemplate the alternative i.e to simply give up. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back, but who said the unknown was scary. Perhaps this crossroads is the biggest most exciting adventure yet for you. All songs end, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy the music. Perhaps the journey is also meant to be enjoyed and those you take with you the jewel in the crown.

So make that decision, take that leap, live your life and most importantly do it TODAY!

Image reproduced from www.pualifestyle.com

How Do I Holiday Like a TOWIE Girl?

  By | | ,
Comments Off on How Do I Holiday Like a TOWIE Girl?

London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about TOWIE and Marbella. Follow Sloan Life Coach on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s Life Coaching website www.sloansw.com

Having not watched The Only Way Is Essex (TOWIE) myself, I am probably better advising you on whether to holiday in Cannes, New York, Paris or Milan. However one of the City Connect team assures me that the notoriously favourite hotspot for TOWIEs is Marbella.

Getting there is the easy bit. Easyjet flights are direct to Malaga starting at approximately £25 and if you’re already in Essex I believe these go from London Stansted too.

Once you arrive in sunny Spain, the top haunts are the designer boutiques of Puerto Banus, in my opinion a cheap knock-off of Sloane Street however extremely popular with the tourists. Whilst you’re there if you are a fan of Zara not only do they have the clothes department but they also have the home store in the marina where prices are to die for and are far cheaper than any discount sale in the UK. If you also want to look like a TOWIE girl, El Corte Ingles has a great beauty section where you can indulge in fake eyelashes, brilliant bronzers, alluring eye shadows and many make-up ranges you can’t get at home.

Once you have your clothes, make-up and beauty accessories sorted along with your fake tan, a popular place to show off your look is the nightclub Tibu which is renowned for opening until 7am throughout the summer making any walk of shame home far more noticeable and devastating.

Another member of the City Connect office recommends Nikki Beach (www.nikkibeach.com).

This venue holds amazing events a few of which I will list below:-

30 June – Marbella Luxury Fair
This luxury weekend fair displays super cars, yachts, designer fashion shows, celebrities, fine cuisines and anything a true TOWIE girl would want.

9 July – All Time Beats Party
If dancing is what you want this party mixes the eclectic sounds of 60s soul, 70s funk, 80s classics, 90s R&B and hip hop and many more tunes to get you dancing the night away.

21 July – Diamond Party
This is definitely a TOWIE night full of glamour and glitz with the dress code of black and gold where not only will you have live music and champagne but diamond and spectacular performances will be aplenty.

28 July – Nikki Beach Bartender Challenge
If Cocktail was your favourite film of the 80s then this is the best place to be to watch gorgeous barmen wow clients with their creative cocktails and superb flare skills. If the tantalising talent isn’t enough to whet your appetite, the amazing drinks will definitely be worth it.

July & August – Nikki Beach Moonlight Dinner Experience
If you want something far more elegant and sophisticated throughout the summer months of July and August, Nikki Beach will be providing inspired cuisine worthy of Michelin stars in a fine setting with one of the most beautiful views of the Mediterranean and talented entertainment.

Having said all of that, as a non TOWIE fan and a Made in Chelsea supporter, I hope you do write back asking how to holiday as if you were in MIC because the parties are hotter and the settings far more stunning and sophisticated. However I hope you enjoy your holiday and that the suggestions from the City Connect team give you food for thought.

Images reproduced from marbella-guide.com and keywordpictures.com

Is It OK to Recycle Your Wardrobe?

  By | |
Comments Off on Is It OK to Recycle Your Wardrobe?

London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about Kate Middleton and recycling your wardrobe. Follow Sloan Life Coach on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s Life Coaching website www.sloansw.com

Thank you for your question. When I first read your question it was slightly misleading as I thought you were referring to donating your clothes to charity. Although this was not what you were getting at I stress to your and other readers that if you are worried about wearing the same item of clothing on more than one occasion, there are many worthwhile charities that would happily accept donations. In the event this would pinch your pocket too much there is always the likes of eBay to resell your items as long as you follow their policies and classify the items as old or worn.

However as I reached the end of your question it became more apparent that your concern was more about peer pressure and what your friends at college would think of you for wearing the same outfit.

My advice to you is two-fold:-

1. It is a dangerous game especially from a young age to succumb to peer pressure. It is better to be a leader rather than a follower even if you have to make your own path and walk it alone. All schools have the popular girl who taunts others for wearing the same Alice band, shoes, jacket etc. but she’s just a big fish in a little pond. If you were to take her out of her comfort zone she would be nothing more than a little fish in a big pond. What you describe in your penultimate paragraph is very close to bullying and I would suggest that as you say you can’t speak to your parents about this that you at least seek comfort from the school counsellor.

2. On a purely fashion basis, celebrities have now made it perfectly acceptable to reuse handbags, shoes, leather trousers, shoes etc. and not worried about the paparazzi snapping them more than once in outfits that they like. In fact the latest demonstration of this was none other than the Duchess of Cambridge who only this month revamped one of her dresses that had been in her wardrobe for approximately four years and she looked stunning as usual. In addition she has a penchant for hats and wore the same one twice this month alone even though she has many to choose from. If that’s not enough to put your mind at rest she has also been spotted wearing her Jane Troughton coat on more than one occasion and the public still adore her.The Duchess of Cambridge, or K-Middy as many like to call her, has clearly paved the way for you to wear what you want when you want.

Good luck in wearing the same favourite outfits and gaining the courage to stand up to the bullies. If you want to be even more on trend accessorize with gold chunky jewellery and a dazzling smile.

I hope this answer has been of help to you. Please do feel free to comment further below and I also look forward to hearing comments from anyone going through a similar situation.

Image reproduced from mirror.co.uk

Do You Support the Re-Opening of the Playboy Club?

  By | |
2 Comments

London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about corsets, Jessica Rabbit and her views on the Playboy Club. Follow Sloan Life Coach on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s Life Coaching website www.sloansw.com

Thank your for your question, I can tell by the tone of your missive that you are anti the opening of the Playboy Club and can understand that it is your view that it degrades women and objectifies them.

Having not been old enough to have frequented the Playboy Club the first time round, I’ve only heard the horror stories of how the Bunny Girls were treated very strictly with their corsets being so tight that after a days work they would have red marks, lines and bruises down their back from their uniform. However with today’s legislation and more women standing up for themselves, I would argue is the Playboy Club any different from a club such as Peter Stringfellow’s.

The first good thing that I think comes out of bringing back the Playboy Club is that such outfits bring back the hourglass shape such as Marilyn Monroe’s figure.

If this has in any way helped our younger audience to appreciate that size zero is not a size then I would be all for the club, however I have yet to frequent it myself even though being invited.

 In terms of sales, looking at high street brands that stock corseted frocks, Forever Unique – a brand often seen on Alicia Dixon – has reported nearly a 60% rise in corset frocks since last year’s projections. A similar priced high street brand – Rare – has also reported just over 25% rise in the last six weeks of frocks that look as if they’ve been inspired by the outfits seen in the Playboy Club.

Kelly Osbourne for many years has been showing her assets off by pairing corsets with jeans, jackets and even skirts proving that corsets are for all shapes and sizes as this lady is famous for fluctuating in weight. If this is not enough, the red carpet has also seen the likes of Blake Lively, Emma Watson, Halle Berry and Reese Witherspoon all looking fabulous in their corseted ensemble for the cameras.

Jessica Rabbit was a hugely popular cartoon character back in the day and as long as Hugh Heffner is being ethical towards his bunnies it appears that this launch of his latest club has only done fashion a service and hopefully won’t send women back fifty years.

If anyone disagrees (or agrees) with me, I would love to hear your comments.

Images reproduced from playboyclublondon.com

Dating Statistics in the UK

  By | |
2 Comments

London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about the UK dating scene. Follow Sloan Life Coach on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s Life Coaching website www.sloansw.com

After a request from a client to know more about our current dating climate, I have collated the following information from research conducted by YouGov of just under 2500 people across Great Britain and other research I have sourced on dating statistics in the UK. So what does Britain’s dating environment look like?

Supposedly Britain’s dating community is currently 8.6 million strong, with singles spending a whopping £8 billion every year on searching for that special someone. 15 million people in the UK are currently estimated to be single, but only half of these are looking for a long-term relationship. Three quarters of singles have not had a relationship last beyond 2 years yet the current average age for a person to get married is 29 as opposed to 24 in 1851.

So if you are single it is suggested that the average cost of a date in Britain today stands at a whopping £200 including outfit and preparation. Men spend almost ten times as much on the actual date as women, however us females are said to spend nearly that on clothes and prep for the date.

London is still the most expensive area to date with Wales housing the keenest date hunters in UK. London contains 33 per cent more singles than any other county, but conversley it is considered the worst place to be single due to cost and competition.

42 per cent of singles are looking for love by the photocopier. Yet 52% think they are most likely to meet a potential date in a bar or club setting. Scots are more likely to stick to old fashioned methods of dating, spending just a quarter of the national average on unconventional dating. 15 per cent of daters in Britain want to find new ways to meet ‘the one’ and are bored with traditional methods.

However with technology becoming more a part of the dating scene, 43% of people have admited to Googling their first date before they meet them, with 4.7 million people in the UK having visited a dating website in the past year.

Not satisfied with just websites, the dating revolution has now come to the iphone and ipad, with applications like SmartDating, Facebook Dating, DNADating and Zoosk, to name but a few… have we perhaps gone  a bit too far? In just minutes on some of the apps, you can find someone within as little as a mile radius, that wants to meet you as soon as in the next 30 minutes. Although, it is brilliant that there is less stigma to dating sites than even just a few years ago, as it is now possible with the help of some of these apps to use the GPS on your device to show people where you are, be it your home or a Starbucks are we perhaps not taking dating too lightly?

I do wonder if technology is not superceeding the safety aspect once afforded to us by online dating. Just because a person is close by doesn’t make them right, all it takes is for them to walk by and try and find you which could be considered romantic if they turn out to be the much talked about ‘perfect partner’ but more often that not 5 minutes later you wonder what your iphone has got you into! Operator impulse control issues aside, geographical advancements in technology do add a nice twist on the dating theme but where will it end? For a faster ‘more effective’ or more accurately ‘quicker’ means of reaching out to someone on cyberspace should we really be comprimising our safety? That too, if it was that easy to find you, how do you know it isn’t that easy to cheat on you?

Unfortunately one-third of online dating users admit to lying in their profile, and that too about being in a relationship. It has even been suggested more actually lie than admit it. Despite this negative slant, one in five married individuals aged between 19 and 25 met their spouse online, which is the same number of people that marry a co-worker.

But before you get your hopes up for an office romance, be warned that half of all workplace romances are over within three months.

And on the topic of break ups, only 30% of relationships are ended face to face, although I only know of one instance (which was fictional – Sex in the City) where a character was crass enough to break up with a girl by Post-it note!

Dating is a mine field but whichever way you choose to go – old fashioned versus technology – a good match is no doubt not far from reach with the right outlook and perspective.

If you have any information you would like to add or further questions please do ask or leave a comment.

Please read here http://victoriaheartsreview.com/.

Photo: courtesy of Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net