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In Chapter 1 of City Connect’s brand new series – The Dating Diary of Miss X – the very anonymous and very single Miss X talks about living the dream in London.

I am writing this on my very balcony close to a well known train station in London.

Any friend who visits or knows I live here is immediately intrigued, jealous or even suspicious wondering how I can afford to live in such a wonderfully located flat close to every known amenity that London has to offer.

I could almost jump into the tube or train, the gym is within a 30 second walk, park and tennis courts within a short walk, plentiful shops, oh and check out those very hot men walking past the flat. Luckily I am on the 3^rd floor so no one can really see me apart from my Team GB flags waving away. Well I have to show my support.

The feeling at the moment is one of complete jubilation. I must admit I was one of those, although born and bred in the UK (London to be precise) who was not at all excited at the prospect of us hosting the Games. What about the traffic, congestion, tube woes blah blah. The list goes on. The good thing is I am completely and utterly addicted and this occurred directly after the Opening Ceremony which was so brilliant.

I’ve tried with vain to get some tickets but have given up and live vicariously through the few lucky friends who have been there or post on facebook that they have been there (I suspect some have superimposed themselves into the Olympic Park or Velodrome) but none the less I think we are all secretly loving the Games.

I actually live here with other flatmates who are great to live with but it has taken a while to get a ”good vibe” going on here. I love the current ones. The old ones have generally left because a) they were French and went back to France b) Met someone in this flat and got a place together  c) just decided they didn’t like me or one of the existing flatmates.

The last 3 people to have left actually met their partners here so I am really hoping and praying that I can also do just that and have moved rooms into the “lucky” room ie with the balcony so I can do just that. Time will tell.

Oh did I mention that I am single and very single.

A man who recently approached me on a dating website that I hadn’t actually logged on for that many years I didn’t even realise it still existed contacted me recently with the immortal words:

“You’re actually really attractive, why on earth are you still single. Are you a bunny boiler? *smiley face*”

That really riled me – not the bunny boiler thing but the smiley face actually.  No the bunny boiler thing did and yes I would say I am not unattractive but that is not the issue. The issue I think is London and so much choice for guys/girls – we all keep our options open. However saying that if I met the guy I really really liked I would make exceptions as they would for me.   Why should I be mad – I am just really really fussy and for whatever reason find myself still single but actually pretty happy! I am young-ish, free and single to do what I want when I want.

I relish in spending time alone. I do have a very active social life to be perfectly honest and can barely find the time to fit friends in but need to have the “me-time”  I get up at the weekend (alone and no one hogging the bed covers) to go to the gym/swim/run in the park ALONE.  I go and read the Saturday/Sunday papers ALONE. It is bliss. I order what I want at the cafe ALONE.  Yes it sounds like I am a loner but really I am probably the most sociable and pretty confident person you can meet – I just like to have some time to myself and reflect. I thought guys liked that so how can I be a bunny boiler?

I have met a fair few men just for dating and really to test the waters out there. I really feel that I would like to meet a guy which is something for me as I think I was the commitment-phobe before. Saying that guys I am really keen on and fancy the pants off have never really worked out.

I get asked out by many many guys I am just not interested in. My lovely mother says “You are just too fussy”  but so what?  I would sooner be fussy and slightly choosy than be in a relationship which could even be humdrum and many people do just settle…I see many couples like that and in my age thirties am also seeing the first wave of divorcees. So they will be getting out of their marriages and need time to adjust perhaps with a kid or two.

I am completely open on the divorcee or having had a kid even. I would be happy to be a step mum as long as the guy was perhaps open to a child. Saying that though there is no clock or anything near me ticking.

Check back next Friday for Chapter 2 of The Dating Diary of Miss X

In Chapter 9 of The Dating Diary of Miss X, our very single and very anonymous Miss X talks about Mr Toyboy at home and Mr French on holiday…

So the trip to France has already been and gone but what a fun time. It was more about a bit of R&R rather than S&M however a super time was had. The beauty with being single is you can actually get on and do trips like this. I now want to book more weekends away with or without anyone. The only downside to going away on your own is it can get a bit boring and you don’t always want to sit alone in estaurants. Apart from that it’s great!

I left on a very sunny morning just after Easter. Easter was quite blissful with the parents. Oh just before Easter I had a bit of fun.

Through work met Mr Toyboy who works in another department at work and apparently has a crush on me. Yes it’s always the ones who are totally unsuitable who always seem to be the most interested. But Mr Toyboy is incredibly good looking, tall, blond and very Dutch. We met just before the Easter break – I had finished work exceedingly late in PR by gone 9 and decided to join the gang in the local pub.

Mr Toyboy looked incredibly hot but talking to the rest of the group. I find it all slightly embarrassing as he has told everyone he fancies me. Nothing to hide then. We chatted a bit but I can’t get over the fact even he is below the minimum age I normally go for. Not ridiculously of course and there are worse cougars out there but still. He walked me to the bus stop – how adolescent is that and tried to kiss me. I don’t know why I didn’t respond. It just didn’t feel right, no ideas why. Finally my bus arrived and off I went – perhaps it was just at the back of my mind and more trouble can only begin. Plus holiday in between.

So post Easter I caught my plane to Nice. It was so terribly exciting to be flying on my own on a new adventure. I could so get used to this. It felt almost surreal to be spending some time with no one else bothering me or asking questions. Bliss.

Plane left on time and got to Nice around midday. Perfect. Got off the plane and even then felt the difference in temperature. In April! It must have been in the early twenties. Caught the bus to the city Centre which was so easy and found my Hotel almost immediately. Lovely boutique style, cute and got upgraded to a King size room. Now that is more like it.

Spent day one on my own enjoying wandering around the Old Town. Hotel was very close and just off the Promenade Des Anglaises. The beach had the bluest sea you can ever imagine. It had that sort of aquamarine, bluey haze which twinkles in the sun. I was addicted to it immediately and headed for the beach where I rested imagining what I would normally be doing at work – the usual craziness of dealing PR deadlines, networking and general admin.

Later I went to the Old Town of Nice which is very similar to Las Ramblas in Barcelona. Long windy cobbled streets leading to old style restaurants, cafe’s and lovely squares. There was a feeling of laissez faire which I thought I could really get used to (well just for a bit as I’d miss my town life way too much) After a lovely day to myself I resigned myself to the largest King sized bed in the world (or so I call it) with the biggest walk in shower and watched bad French TV, mostly dubbed and films that they decide to dub too: why I ask myself.

Got a few facebook messages from Mr French asking what I was doing. I couldn’t work out whether he wanted to join me that night or the one after. He told me to be waiting at 11 ish the next day and we’d be going for a surprise.

Check out Chapter 10 of the Dating Diary of Miss X next Friday to find out about Mr French’s surprise and more!

In Chapter 8 of The Dating Diary of Miss X, our very single and very anonymous Miss X talks about fending off Mr Gin whilst finding possible dates at a Beer Festival and there’s a impending trip to see Mr French…

I have been out and about recently and have been in the company of some nice guys. My job involves meeting interesting people all the time – I also still meet contacts from my old industry the Drinks business.  This was when I was selling that lovely spirit gin for 3 years. It’s now really fashionable and I help in my bar with promoting gin just not selling it – it’s all win win.

So where have I been recently.  Well I went to a Beer festival only a few weeks ago. This was fun. I decided to have a bit of craziness and this was it. It took place in a large venue on Brick Lane. Beer being beer meant it would be well attended by guys with very few ladies (ie competition) around.  I had a blast – ended up drinking a fair amount of selected beer / ales and then discovering a cocktail “pop up” stand at the same venue serving gin specials all night.

Met up with Mr Gin – a gin ex contact of mine – who is slightly older and has always been a bit of a sleaze who decided to be friendly at the start which was fine before trying to hook me up with some nice men in there (he seemed to take pity on me and my singledom status) telling me I was fantastic and wonderful – “why haven’t you got a boyfriend… are the men mad”  The amount of times I hear this and I wonder why guys tell me this, before trying to pounce on me which unfortunately he did later – no funny business at all but he did manage to get back to my place, where we continued the gin theme but all I had was a very cheap supermarket brand and we both passed out (thank goodness).

To show what an alcoholic he must be, he asked me for a swig of it in the morning before he departed….

The best bit about Mr Gin is that although he was certainly not attractive I did however like his sense of humour/fun and charisma. On the night he mentioned a girlfriend/fiance – this then became a girlfriend to getting married next year, to no girlfriend. I was not going to even go there but he continued to text me the day after he left (and after his swig of gin at 10 am in the morning – a Sunday) becoming very intimate on texts before texting me the next day with “I don’t think we should see each other it just wouldn’t be right. I’m getting married  next year and it’s just not right”.

I texted Mr Gin with ” Thank goodness – well works to that effect – I am not your fiance/girlfriend/ whatever – a lucky escape for me last night, I actually feel sorry for your girlfriend getting married to such a p**** like you. **** off.

Never again.

However whilst I was fending this man away, another couple of chaps took my fancy. Although Mr Gin kept trying to usher them away!  One was Mr Cute who was good looking from what I can remember but that isn’t much apart from the way out of the venue! Another was Mr Pop Up who owned the famous “pop up” bar. It was like all my Christmasses rolled into one – or Easter Eggs even.

One has since texted although I can’t quite remember what he was like. At least he was honest when he texted me  “Hey it’s ____ here, lovely to meet you at the beer festival. It was all a bit drunk and hazy but wondered whether you wanted to catch up”.

I thought that was well constructed, honest and I probably would have written the same.  That night I had my own personal cards to hand out – a PR friend of mine told me to always go out prepared for action.  The date is this week and makes it date number 5 in total for this year. Let’s see how we fare…

I also have a longer distance date/meeting in the South of France over Easter after the weekend.  Mr French is a friend of mine from the South who moved back from the UK last year. We tried to meet up over the Summer but I got cold feet. This year I decided to go for it – my new mantra is just to go for it – make the most of every opportunity and just say yes (well there are some circumstances where you can’t always say yes and Mr Stockings is one example)  so he asked me last week to visit him soon and I have holiday which I need to use up so why not.  It will be around a week in Nice/Cannes and along the coast. I’ve already booked in a few South of France hotels through my Hotel which is part of a big chain and look forward to some fun in the sun!

There is also a big whisky show soon so I’ll go to that. Whisky is another area being male dominated. I am going in a PR way to “network” and to see what business I can help with as we are opening a whisky bar in our venue. I am going for the new contacts of course darrrlings however may have to see what’s out there, in terms of whisky samples of course!

Check back next Friday for Chapter 9 of The Dating Diary of Miss X

In Chapter 6 of The Dating Diary of Miss X, our very single and very anonymous Miss X talks about what she’s learnt from “The Magic” and gets back in touch with an ex – Mr LinkedIn.

So, Easter has been and gone. Is it just me or have we really only just had it but everyone is talking about next Holiday? No sooner than one holiday is over, we are all wishing our lives away looking towards the next one! The Easter eggs came out in my local Sainsbury’s just after Christmas. It’s ridiculous!

Well whatever, time is passing by too quickly and I’ve decided to take action.

I have a new job which even then isn’t too new as I’ve been there for 6 months already. It has become a complete blur and each week just merges into one. My weekends are too short now. I seem to get the Sunday blues on Saturday now.  But enough of that – all is very good and I’m happy generally. I think that is where true contentment must come.

For the first time I haven’t actually thought about a guy being the icing on the cake, more like the cream on the side or the accompaniment which must be a good thing.

I’m too busy for a relationship at the moment but when friends of mine say that I always think at the back of my head “because you haven’t met the right guy yet” or “just not in the right space for a relationship”, I would say it’s the former – meeting the right guy - but then I’ve been getting into my new book, The Magic, which is a sequel to The Secret and it really has changed my life. I would say we attract everything into our lives and that is the essence of it. Although that doesn’t mean we sit around and expect things to happen: we still have to actively create our own lives and make it happen, it just speeds it up. Gratitude also stands for something.

On this subject, I hope no one is offended or thinks it’s mumbo jumbo although you are entitled to your opinions (my father goes crazy at all this being an ex scientist however mum the painter loves all this). The only reason this has come out is the fact that recently I have been drawing in people I have been thinking about or from nowhere they have been in touch. I see it now as a reason and that most things to happen for a reason.  They really do – I can almost predict some outcomes to certain situations or just get a “gut feeling” to all sorts.

One such example just before Christmas I was on one of my many social sites and somehow I had an apparition to contact an ex from my Dating Agency days. Let’s call him Mr LinkedIn.  We’d went out briefly after his stint at the Dating Agency I helped to run.  But the warning bells were always out and this is why we ran out of steam then. I then decided to try again with him and really must learn to judge my initial gut feeling which was always to say – he is not really looking for a relationship and is just playing the game. He was then and is now.

The thing about Mr LinkedIn is that he just always got under my skin and I couldn’t really forget him. Even whilst he was at the Dating Agency (I fancied him from the beginning but couldn’t do anything about it for it being unprofessional – whose rules were those, oh mine!) he dated a couple of women but also had nightmare dates as I was his Matchmaker and purposely gave him a couple of not-so-great dates.  He remembered these dates when we met up again recently….

But even then when we tried to date properly he was actually “too busy”. What does this term mean when guys say “I’m too busy at the moment” or it’s been such a “busy ” week – I know what it means, it means he is “just not that into you”.  I totally dig this however I genuinely believe he did quite like me but just couldn’t commit. The proof is 5 years later (yes 5 years) Mr LinkedIn is still single having been through a few dates and also a relationship.

Will Mr LinkedIn link up with our Miss X? Find out next Friday in Chapter 7 of The Dating Diary of Miss X

In Chapter 5 of The Dating Diary of Miss X, our very single and very anonymous Miss X talks about Mr French and paying the bill.

Who pays?

This is an interesting question raised when I was seeing a chap called Mr French.   Yes he’s French!

I met him at a party and although he and I were both flitting between people. I realised by the end of the evening that he was actually quite decent as per usual I’d gone for most of the good looking (those are the good looking but caddish men usually)  so I facebooked him over the next few days. We had a mutual friend so this was easy.

He responded well, almost too well and was very persistent about meeting up which was all fine. Finally we met and I was certain it was classed as a first date a couple of months ago.  Another guy though who was not quite settled in his job and I could see he was slightly troubled. I do meet them!

I always had the impression that French guys were gentlemanly, romantic and chivalrous. He was on some accounts but on the first date “broke every rule” as they say. But then there shouldn’t be any rules. He persistently asked about my exes, who I’ve been with, how long, why it ended and then took me to a restaurant and we ended up splitting the bill.

This led me to a question which I have been pondering ever since. On a date who foots the bill or should it be split? I have no problem doing the splitting or even paying but perhaps I am a little old fashioned and on the first date like to allow the chap to be a “gentleman” and perhaps at least offer?  I am self-sufficient and can pay my way but that is not the point.

Yes we chatted earlier and agreed it was a date – so surely the guy can pay on the first date?

It was a lovely restaurant but quite cheap overall.

The bill arrived and rather than he take it, the Bill was left on the table. After a few minutes of nervous chatting I said “oh look there is the bill”  He almost seem to disregard it and then took it and gave me a look as if to say “are you about to cough up”  I felt it was right to say something and I said so “are we going dutch then?”  Surely he should and could have said No I’ll pay – but that didn’t arise so we split it.

After this interesting scenario I haven’t actually seen him since – mainly due to the fact he is back in France for a few months. We are still facebooking and there was a plan to go to visit him in the South, but it hasn’t felt right.

Check back next Friday for Chapter 6 of The Dating Diary of Miss X

In Chapter 3 of The Dating Diary of Miss X, our very single and very anonymous Miss X talks about being a single girl “in between jobs”.

Career wise – I am currently in between jobs as they say. Been made redundant a few times and this time just considering my time and watching lots of Olympics/sun bathing and holidays. Well why not indeed? That is why it could be tricky for a relationship or would this now be the best time to embark on one?  At least it means I can look at what I want and don’t want. The only thing is I will soon need some money or I won’t be able to go out and have the lifestyle I really like and am accustomed to.

You see the last job was in the glamorous world of spirit sales (as in the alcohol and not the other outside world) events and parties. You could say I was and still am a bit of a Girl about town. I am actually hoping I stay in this world or at least put all my lovely 5* contacts to good use in the next role. That or just work for myself.

The only feedback I get from all my jobs to date and CV is “You have an interesting CV. It’s quite a Plethora of roles…” I can only assume this is a good thing and am certainly not run of the mill. The only thing is I am certainly non corporate and like to be doing my own role so really should have my own business. Consultancy, Lifestyle Manager, Drinks Specialist, the List is endless… I also love people and how they work.   I have even been a voiceover artist. Mainly online corporate voiceovers as my voice is pretty husky and quite unusually deep. However very challenging to get ahead in this field.

Apparently ideally suited to nursing which I found out at an early age in school but too squeamish with blood and can barely watch Die Hard without looking away.  It’s the caring side of me…I do like people and find they do open up to me. I enjoyed the dating agency side as guys/women always used to open up and tell me everything. I was of course completely confidential but it was nice to be able to really try to help them if I could. The same with the drinks role – it was good to get to know people and not only sell them my product but see what we could all do together.

A week ago despite my “in between jobs” status I still managed to go on holiday with a great PR pal of mine and we went to a fabulous resort in Southern Spain’s Malaga. More on that next time…

Check back next Friday for Chapter 4 of The Dating Diary of Miss X

In Chapter 2 of The Dating Diary of Miss X, our very single and very anonymous Londoner talks about dating, jobs and more dating.

I have had some interesting jobs to date and they are also linked to my love-life you could say. I was working in Media for 5 years – almost made redundant and then decided to leave and had a pre 30 crisis, went to Australia – hooked up with a very cute Aussie who then moved back to the UK with me and we ended up living together for 2 years before his working visa ran out. It was fun. Since then I have dated but longest was around 6 months. In my early twenties I had probably the most other serious relationship. He was older, my boss at an IT company and would have married me but I was too young then and hadn’t even left home by that stage! I do look back and wonder but realise that perhaps we weren’t right in any case.  We didn’t really have much in common but all good experiences.

Post Australia I then worked at a dating agency for a bit, dated a few clients and can just about live to tell the tale!  You would think I’d find the One that way. I did meet some interesting guys but they had some real deep rooted issues that needed sorting.  I could not be their therapist (actually we had a therapist/counsellor/date doctor we’d refer them too) It was strange.

Many of the people also had the same issue I had with my last job – NO TIME for a relationship. What was the point of spending all that money on a dating agency/website if you don’t have the time to devote to a potential relationship.   That happened with one of the guys I was seeing – he literally had to keep cancelling or rescheduling. But the other argument is anyone can make time if they really like someone!

Oh the course of true love never does run smoothly but I am enjoying the ride and believe there is someone out there for everyone. I think the one thing i have learnt from all the weddings I’ve been to is it will happen when you least expect it and to be happy within oneself. I can say I really am just need to sort out a few other things but if the love life thing happens than all good!

I’ve also got into the idea of the law of attraction and believe things do happen for a reason. However i do think we create our own luck/success and opportunity.

I probably won’t meet him sat at home watching the Olympics in my jim jams but then I do have a very hot new flatmate so does that count?  I want to test the fact and see if this flat does breed relationships due to the past 4 couples somehow meeting either present counterparts here or a connection to this flat such as a one of the infamous Flat parties.

I will also try out once again different dates and use some internet sites. I’ve heard Match.com is good as is My Single Friend. Friends have actually met and married through these sites. Again all a bit of luck but as I say with competitions that I win regularly – you’ve gotta be in it to win it.

I recently won a trip on Eurostar to Cologne following a band – I beat 900 applicants which was really incredible. Shall tell you about that another week…

Check back next Friday for Chapter 3 of The Dating Diary of Miss X

In Chapter 4 of The Dating Diary of Miss X, our very single and very anonymous Miss X talks about her new flatmate and Mr Arty 

Living centrally does have its perks although costs a fortune!   I live in a gorgeous flat with some lovely flatmates. As I’ve previously mentioned 4 of the old couples have met through this very flat. Why has it not happened to me yet?   You probably think because you sound a bit desperate but actually no; one has to be actively out there perhaps sending out the vibes that you do want something without appearing desperate?

I have a new very hot flatmate who only moved in a month ago. I was on the “deciding” panel of course since I and another guy here have been living here the longest. It was most fun “interviewing” potential male flatmates. There is such a thing as flatmating. Let’s see how it goes with him: I’ve been trying to spend some time with him but again he works all the time and we both have our own lives. He’s on holiday at the moment for 2 weeks so let’s see what happens after…

I think the fact that a relationship hasn’t happened before is mainly down to work being so busy and probably me not wanting anything or if you don’t meet the right person why settle?  Nothing wrong with it.

I also tend to meet up with friends at the weekend: many of whom are partnered up, married, babies so really there do seem to be fewer eligible men around. But as my mother always puts it “Stop being so fussy”  I think if the guy did walk in and I felt enough connection then that would and should be it – maybe just to stop analysing!

The thing is I have fancied and been out with a few guys this year already. I did try dating one guy, a creative arty sort of a guy - let’s call him Mr Arty - and despite the fact he was consistently late and frantic most of the time, I really liked him and would have considered a relationship or something with him. It didn’t happen.

We met initially at a party for an art gallery back in January and it continued from then on. He was a landscape gardener and oh so deep. Just analysing everything to how he was feeling, how his friends were feeling to the point where it was starting to trouble himself. I told him to sort his own stuff out before anyone elses!  He needed a dose of positive thinking and luckily started to change (I think with my positive outlook)

To start with it was all very innocent: we’d meet up for the latest art exhibition as he had a Tate Members card, frequent galleries and museums galore. He’d talk about art in a very ethereal way and I hadn’t been out with a cultured guy for a while.  The guys I’d met had been mainly through the drinks business so the main focus drinking and partying.

It came to a point where we were seeing each other for a while and I used some honour points I’d accumulated for a weekend in Brighton. It was fantastic – however I just sort of assumed we were seeing each other. That evening at an incredible Oyster restaurant in Brighton (he was treating me) the clanger was dropped when we were talking about us and he said “Yes you need to be seeing other people”  I was quite stunned as I had sort-of-assumed we were an item and also thought to myself damn I hadn’t saved the free nights stay for a real boyfriend!

We then talked about it albeit a bit tiddly and worse for wear. It was decided that he had “just come out of a relationship and still fragile” I just decided to take this as it was and continue to see him but just for fun. It has been hard to have a real “Friend with Benefits”  as inevitably someone will get hurt.

Since then he has been going through a bit of turmoil, very down at times – hasn’t eaten, talks about his ex so I think it was probably best he sorts it out. I am always there to talk to him and be the understanding friend. At the moment he is in rehab for some depression, poor guy. I’ve decided to be on hand but not to get too close again….  So let’s leave that one there.

With all the guys I’ve dated I could now combine all the qualities and make one!

Check back next Friday for Chapter 5 of The Dating Diary of Miss X