First Date Faux Pas

OK so we’ve all been there, all been on dates we’d rather forget or much rather wish we hadn’t turned up to in the first place.  The trick is not to recreate those mistakes yourself.  So you’ve managed to secure yourself a date for Saturday night, with a guy you met in town.  You’ve had a trip to the salon; caterpillar eyebrows removed and dragged through the proverbial hedge hair trimmed into shape.  You spend the remainder of the day waxing, trimming, washing and straightening.  You’ve shoehorned yourself into your French Connection body-con dress and slipped into your 5 inch Kurt Geiger’s.  A quick glass of wine before you head out to steady your nerves and you’re ready to go.  Perfect.

You have probably already chosen a venue to meet in; this sets the scene for the tone of the evening I think.  You want somewhere trendy but a little intimate.  No live bands, pub quizzes or house and garage nights.  By the end of the night you won’t have found out anything about him because you can’t actually hear him.  Choose a bar that you’re comfortable in and have been to before as you will be able to relax a bit more.

Its ok to turn up for a date a little late for a date, it’s a woman’s prerogative surely, I think 10 minutes is standard and it’s nice to make an entrance.  However, 45 minutes is highly unacceptable, he is just going to think you’re a time waster or high maintenance, and most probably won’t even be there when you stomp in.  Providing he is still there of course, the next thing to make sure is you pick you conversation topics with care and attention.  Family and friends yes, work yes, outside interests yes, ex-boyfriends NO.  Under no circumstances do you mention your ex-boyfriend on a first date.  He will either think you are still sleeping with him or a bunny boiler who can’t let go of past relationships, (not good news the next dumpee).  Nobody wants to hear how long it took you to get past your 5 year engagement and how you’ve sworn off men forever.  Nor does your date want to hear how much you hate your rugby loving, beer swilling, over sexed ex.  He will assume that if you are quick to slag off your ex, what’s stopping you doing the same to him?

Know your manners!  Listen to him and ask him lots of questions, people love talking about themselves and he will be chuffed that you want to know more about him (football or not, feign interest).  If he rambles on too much about footie then tell him how nice you think his eyes are, it will soon stop his ramblings about Rooney and Joe Hart (this also works both ways if you’re rambling about lashes and shoes).  Offer to pay for some drinks and don’t expect him to pay for everything.  As much as we secretly want him to pay don’t expect a free ride, and be pleased if it is!

OK so you’ve managed to skim over talks of the ex’s and concentrate on what he’s got to say.  You’re halfway through the night and you’ve had a few wines.  More than you would normally have as maybe you’re a bit nervous and drinking quicker than normal.  You start calling in the sambucas and swinging your weave to Nirvana.  You’ve smudged your lippy and lit your cigarette the wrong way round.  Big mistake!  Getting hideously drunk on a first date is the ultimate no no.  It shows that your out of control, irresponsible and don’t know your limits.  Lay off the wines and stick to spirits, we all know what a killer wine is on a night out.

If he hasn’t thrown you into a taxi home at this point you have most probably woken up next to him as he assumes you are an easy target.  You shamefully utter how you never usually get that drunk, ask what his name is again, before committing the ultimate shame is first date faux pas.  The walk of shame back to your flat, hoping your flat mates won’t be in when you creep through the door.

If you have any chance of the first date going well, do the exact opposite of what you have just read and you should be on your way to second date heaven.  Where basically all the rules of the first date still apply.  Happy dating boys and girls!