Tag Archives: advice

Goodbye Honeymoon… Hello Relationship

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The honeymoon period in most relationships is usually crammed with the culmination of endearing gestures, poignant revelations and spontaneous acts. From being contentedly overwhelmed by the late night phone calls and flirty text messages, to the impulsive date nights and that feeling of being totally besotted with each other; it is easy to conclude that the dating process with the right person can be extremely pleasurable! However, similar to the purchase of a new car, or the acquisition of a new property, it is only human nature for the initial exhilaration and novelty to wear off and become part of the norm. So what do you do when you have cleared the initial hurdles only to be confronted by another relationship stumbling block, where communication diminishes, spontaneous gestures stop and he outwardly expresses a preference to spend an evening out with the boys?

General Paranoia Vs Women’s Intuition

With the explosion of celebrity infidelities, shocking chat shows and the continuous growth of the social media, it is hard not to start scrolling through his phone, hacking his Facebook or checking his pockets. However, every relationship is unique and should be treated as such. So whilst his lack of constant affection may be a sign that he is losing interest, it could also indicate a new sense of security where he no longer feels the need to outwardly devote all his attention to his chosen soul mate. Intuition can provide answers behind suspicious activity or a change in behaviour, but be cautious as not all change is detrimental.

Sorry babe I’m busy!

Do you remember the time when your partner had the innate ability to juggle his appointments, postpone meetings and deprive himself of sleep in order to tend to your needs? Suddenly you come to a point in your relationship where all your invites are declined; excuses are commonplace and you no longer feel like a priority, due to his ‘work commitments.’ Rejection at any level can dent one’s pride, but it can be particularly hurtful if you are used to a set behaviour. Nonetheless, the word ‘busy’ literally translates to unavailable and should not be taken personally once you have settled into a relationship. Whilst his sudden change in priorities could indicate a straying eye, with the dramatic increase of shift work and longer hours, he could just be trying to keep up with a demanding and hectic schedule. Moreover, this sudden focus of tending to previously neglected commitments may simply reflect his contentment and the fact that he is positively looking to a future with you.

But I promised the boys…

You may not understand why he would prefer an evening out with the lads or constantly cancels when he has his son for the weekend, but if your initial conversations were dominated by stories which included them, it should not be a surprise. Bear in mind that whilst you may have been his focal point initially, friends do get jealous, unexpected events happen and people usually adjust to the way of life they are most comfortable with. So before you reach for his phone, schedule a drink with your friends and focus on ensuring that you make more of the quality time you have together. After a stressful day at work, help him loosen his collar and release that tie, by being that much needed tentative, amusing and tactile distraction that he needs.

We don’t talk like we used to

Most people text on an impulse and if you are the only thing occupying his mind and he wants to make contact, he will! So how do you go from overwhelming wake up calls and complimentary texts, to uneventful two minute calls where you discuss why he did not get his monthly bonus? Naturally, you may come to the conclusion that he may be communicating with another when you don’t hear from him when you expect to. Even so, you must be realistic. Do not expect the forty text messages a day that you used to receive, as once you are settled, the need to communicate at that extremity becomes less necessary. As a couple, your quality time together should compensate for this as you get to know each other on a more intimate level. So unless you are receiving authentic warning signs of infidelity, (such as no communication, lack of personality on the phone, or long periods of silence), fine tune your imagination to regain his interest via text by perhaps suggesting a back massage or a spontaneous excursion.

Change in body language

Whether it is due to lust or infatuation; intimacy, exploration and discovery play significant roles when it comes to getting to know someone new. In the beginning, his gentle tactile nature will be emphasised as you enjoy the benefits of holding hands, affectionately gazing at each other and flirtatiously touching. If you are lucky to experience real chemistry, your attraction will undoubtedly strengthen by that uncontrollable shiver as he whispers in your ear or that warm glow when he caresses your hair. Consequently, as time progresses that physical chemistry should adapt and the discovery process should be more pleasurable.

Not tonight Hun

If your complaint is that your partner seems distant or appears repulsed by the thought of getting intimate, you have to address this immediately as there is obvious cause for concern. However, if you are merely peeved because you no longer intimately engage with the same vivacity or enthusiasm, think before you assume the worst. It is a scientific fact that stress exacerbates most conditions; on an extreme scale that bullying boss or financial stress may cause temporary impotence or affect the libido. Conversely, his lack of interest in bedroom could simply be put down to fatigue. Before you seek solace elsewhere, take some advice from Beyonce in the song Countdown and “run up in the kitchen with your heels on” and make that effort to “meet him at the finish line!”

Meeting someone new and intriguing can expose innovative adventures; mysterious conversations and unearth hidden emotions. Unsurprisingly, we are partial to the endearing features of the person we meet, but as time progresses some of our expectations remain too high. Consequently, whilst one party expects the other to maintain this high level, the other party is now comfortable to be themselves. If he consistently passes up the opportunity to see you, keeps mysteriously vanishing or insists on doing everything on his terms, your intuition is key. However, do not let your imagination go wild; remain alluring, spice it up with impetuous surprises and most importantly talk to him!

Image reproduced from askdeb.com

Top 10 Tips for Social Climbers

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When breaking into a new social scene, it’s easy to be dazzled by the free booze and the canapés. Let’s face it: miniature food is an impressive culinary achievement (Just how small are the chefs who make mini hotdogs?) and a subsidised session towards oblivion is almost too hard to refuse.

Social climbing has been both the making breaking of many a debutante; the phenomenon of becoming the bright young thing and then a slide to mediocrity, relegated to the discard pile of (im)polite society, both seemingly overnight. Lohan, much? It’s the folly of youth (and some of their elder counterparts) that appearing on guest lists equates to success, though, one thing everyone should recall is that free champagne just doesn’t pay the bills.

While it is possible to survive at least six months on a diet of canapés alone (this was tried and proven in my early twenties when nightclubs were my first home and the place where I paid rent was merely a place to bathe), hobnobbing only pays social dividends. There’s a fine line between being seen and being scene, and it’s one line that should be towed like a Roman sandal. Being the life of the party is admirable, but being the village drunk is only sought by those who reside under bridges.

Here are our top ten tips to social climbing with class.

1. Say ‘no’. Receiving an invitation is exciting when starting out, but at that stage, the ability to discern an event worthy of attendance from a complete fizzer is yet to develop. Product launches can be fun if the product is in the least bit interesting or comical, parties for party’s sake are excellent if they occur towards the end of the week and nightclub openings are always worth checking out if only for the people watching. However, tread carefully. Be selective about which you choose to attend, for you don’t want to become known as someone who would attend the opening of a wound. We all know the serial offenders and no one likes to be that guy.

2. Arrive on time. There’s fashionably late and unfashionably late, but these days, fashionably early is what the party pros are doing. You see, the social photographers—at least those from the publications that matter—are there to do their jobs in the quickest time possible so they can get to their next engagement of the evening before going home and making a cup of tea. Alas, attending parties five nights a week is considered work for some, and when your office is the event circuit, you treat it as you would a job—get the heck out of there as soon as possible.

3. Refuse some photos. You are responsible for your personal brand and being the person in every third photo at a party makes you look like a desperado. If you chase the lens like a crackie does their dealer, you’ll make quite the reputation for yourself as someone not to photograph. Always ask where the image is going to go and pose for a maximum of three shots. If you’re in several photos, it gives the impression that there weren’t many guests at the party, which in turn renders you a loser for attending a dud event. Hello, Z list.

4. Don’t be photographed with a drink or a cigarette in your hand. Like foul language reads more confronting on paper than it does when spoken, booze and fags give the impression that you’re a tasteless lush. Hide your glass or cigarette behind your back when the lens is in front of you, and if an unflattering image is uploaded to social media, untag it immediately.

5. Stick to small food. Cocktail parties are for schmoozing and boozing and shouldn’t be considered a source of a free meal. Canapés stave off supreme drunkenness and should be big enough to pop into your mouth discreetly in one or two bites. While food served in bowls or takeaway boxes might seem appealing, they prove cumbersome when juggling a napkin and a most likely a drink. If you do need something more substantial, find a place to sit and eat like a civilised person, then rejoin the party after your last mouthful, not during.

6. Dress appropriately. They say you can never be too dressed up, though, if an event takes place at 6pm and you’re clothed for a black tie event, it suggests you’re unemployed and have too much free time. Dress smartly for the event and as though you haven’t gone to any effort. And remember: Those who wear a colour other than black are most likely to be snapped by those who matter.

7. Choose your company wisely. After some turns on the party circuit, you’ll soon learn who’s who in the social zoo. Alas, this is by trial and error and you’ll likely encounter a trashbag close-talker with beer breath and projectile food debris. Run away. Of course, breaking into a light jog is frowned upon, but often excusing yourself to use the facilities should suffice. No one likes a Debbie downer.

8. Keep yourself nice. While it’s tempting to hit the open bar with gay abandon, remember that the higher the blood alcohol level the messier you’ll look. Check on yourself in the mirror whenever you make your way to the restroom, have a non-alcoholic drink for every one or two alcoholic beverages and whatever you do, don’t get stoned. People with droopy Snoop Dogg eyes make for hilarious post-event fodder.

9. You can refuse the gift bag. Gift bags often provide wonderful spoils, but taking them can be more troublesome than the contents are worth. Surreptitiously spy what’s contained within when others more gauche pull them apart publicly, and if it looks like a bag of advertising material and dodgy haircare, give it a sidestep. If you’re planning on heading out after, think about how you’ll have to transport and if it’s a too-hard case, politely decline.

10. Leave early. Most events that matter take place on school nights, so you must remind yourself of this when you take your fifteenth glass off a waiter’s tray. There’s always a bunch of trashbags who have to have it pointed out to them that everyone else has gone home, so make sure you’re not one of them. When a round of bottled water is distributed, that should be your cue to leave if you haven’t already. Remember: There are plenty of other bars with liquor, you just might have to put your hand into your own pocket to continue. Quelle horreur!

Article and image reproduced from idobelieveicamewithahat.com

Primers: Is Your Face in It’s Prime?

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Firstly – welcome to my first beauty post!

I will be posting weekly tips, tutorials and advice on things to do with beauty – topics that fall into that are make-up, hair and miscellaneous beauty products! Reader input is always welcome, be it questions, opinions etc, anyway, I digress and shall get on with this week’s post!

So, here we are, almost summer and the weather is hotting up, and you know what that means… sweat! Rather than having to touch up your make-up countless times in the day that it becomes the OCD of the season, you can try using primers – I know, these are one of the Marmite products in the make-up world, and I’m going to type-talk you through face primers today.

For those unaware what a primer is, it’s a make-up product designed to keep foundation on for longer by being a base for the foundation, smoothing the appearance of the skin and filling in fine lines.

There are many questions about whether these products are actually beneficial to keep foundation on for longer. If you’re one of the people that are worried it will cause break-outs, clog pores or sit heavy on the face – the real answer to this would be to assess the factors that affect your skin – everyone is different, common factors to think about are your skin type (are you oily or dry?) and your location – the skin is different if you live in the country as opposed to a very busy city.

There are a variety of primers out there for different skin types. When introducing a new product to your routine it can throw your skin off balance because for the first 2 weeks the skin trys to get accustomed to the new product – we’re talking about very small changes. However,  if you go bright red, itchy and sore on the first application, I don’t think you need telling twice to put the product down, step away and get yourself a cold compress!

Smashbox Primers

Primers cost between £7 to in excess of £30 and finding the right one for you can be expensive if not done properly, so here are a few tips for the various skin types. Mature skin suits gel primers more than liquid, it’s smoother and applies better to this type of skin. Dry skin (with exfoliating and moisturising depending on how dry you are) would also benefit with gel primers because dimethicone (polydimethylsiloxane) is a silicon based polymer found in gel primers that does wonders for smoothing the skin and makes gel primers a little more gentle on the skin as opposed to liquid ones. For areas that have a rougher skin texture, gel primers could help a smoother application of foundation with less irritation. Smashbox do a wide range of primers aimed at covering most skin types.

GOSH Gel Primer

Dimethicone can also be found in other non-primer products such as anti-chaffing gels. The Monistat anti-chaffing gel was creating waves on the primer scene a couple of years ago and, when compared to gel primers like the ones from Smashbox, was a third of the cost! Whether Monistat was a surprising multi-purpose cosmetic or a placebo due to price I shall leave up to you to decide.

Monistat Anti-Chaffing Gel

Oily and acne prone skin would better suit liquid and oil free based primers. Oil free primers in liquid form settle better on oily skin rather than gel primers which can sometimes add to the shine and make-up feels like it’s sliding off. I would advise those with acne prone and sensitive skins to also go for natural, perfume-free and oil-free primers so you don’t irritate the skin. NYX HD liquid primer is a US brand similar to GOSH and MAC and available to purchase online in the UK.

NYX HD Liquid Primer

As for myself, I fall into the combination dry/oily skin type. I do use a primer when I am going out to special occasions and/or gigs but sometimes I do not use a primer on days when I’m short of time and obviously I wouldn’t use a primer on days when I do not wear make-up. If the weather is really hot or wet, I will always wear a primer as it works wonderfully to make my foundation last longer and it helps make my skin look flawless.

On the whole primers are a great investment if you love to have that flawless look everyday or even just on special occasions. Primers – like all other make-up - are not gender specific. Both men and women can use them.

What are your opinions on primers? Do you wear them daily? Do you think they are a go-to beauty product? I’d love to hear about your experiences – good or bad!

5 Tips to Help You Be Happy at Work

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Happiness at your workplace is not something that is born out of a slick work space, well designed office and location at a happening address.  Neither is it about having a great boss and friendly colleagues.  It is about having the right attitude and looking within.  Here are 5 tips to help you be happy at work…

1. Believe in Yourself

Even if you are having a really bad day at work or have been given a really tough assignment, don’t panic or fret.  Instead choose to believe in yourself and your abilities.  Seek help and guidance from friends, family, bosses, seniors or colleagues who might be able to help.  Partner and network with people who have the skills and the ability to get the job done, it is here that your own good self-image will help you approach and elicit help from other people.

Your confidence and calm demeanour will serve you well and help you think clearly and creatively to work your way out of the toughest circumstances.

2. See Opportunities Everywhere

One man’s loss is another man’s gain.  Never lose sight of this universal truth.  Look for opportunities to prove your mettle and your abilities; do this regularly.  If you have a domineering superior who refuses to give you any authority but piles you with responsibilities, see opportunity in that as well.  Let your work speak for you, recognition and appreciation will follow eventually.

Opportunities abound, you just need to recognize them… a dissatisfied customer, unwilling co-workers, bothersome bosses or juniors who need help are all windows of opportunity for you to add value, solve a problem and bond with people.  The only thing you need to do is figure out how to make things work.

3. Keep Working Towards Your Life Goals

Don’t let failures and disappointments deter you.  Keep working towards your life goals.  As a teacher, my life goals include pushing students to excel, think creatively and find their potential while creating a body of knowledge through books, articles and the like.  I am often disillusioned by how casually students approach carefully designed and executed assignments, their reticence and unwillingness to work hard.  What do I do?

I keep trying anyways because I know I cannot lose sight of the bigger picture.  At the end of the year if I have even five students who I have been able to mould then that takes me closer to my goal, one step at a time.

4. Stay Positive At All Times

While a lot of people say this and I am telling you too, positive thinking really is the only thing that can keep you sane, focused and make you approach situations and people with empathy and patience.  Instead of complaining about darkness and wishing it would go away, we need to find a solution.  Can we empty darkness in buckets or do we just light a lamp to dispel it?

If we keep looking at the downside then the glass will always be half empty.  Instead look at it as half full waiting to reach the brim with a little help from you!

5. Remember…You Script the Story of Your Own Success

Once we realize that we alone are responsible for what happens to us then we know that the locus of control is “I, me alone”.  It is you who script your story…the story of your life and career.  If you were a script writer, what would you do?  You would work towards a happy ending, pleasant twists, throw in opportunity to make your story better, right?  Do the same with your life and work and see what a difference it will make.

Tips For Your First Gym Class

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So, you’ve joined the gym, you’ve had your free session and can now successfully locate the start button on a treadmill. You’ve been given a programme but still find yourself aimlessly wondering around, questioning the use of each piece of equipment.

I see you. I’m the lycrad up instructor screaming into my Britney mic, you’re there, nose pressed up against the glass of the door as I coach 25 eager participants to squat a little lower. Are you brave enough to come inside? Let me take the fear away.

The first assumption you’ll make is that everyone in the class knows exactly what they’re doing. If that were the case I’d be left with very little to say during that class. There is a reason instructors end up with husky voices. What’s that reason? It’s because participants constantly need guidance which is why I am there.

Secondly you may fear that everyone is going to be looking at you, you stepped on the wrong leg, your trainers aren’t brand new or your leggings don’t match your hairband. Once again you are misinformed. Having been a participant and having taught many a class, I can assure you that most people don’t have incredible co-ordination. If you’re thinking about your moves or concentrating on technique the odds are so is everyone else. To be honest, sometimes even I’m thinking about the moves!

Have I tempted you inside yet? I hope so! But let’s make sure that I give you the best possible chances of getting great results, having fun and most importantly, coming back!

Here’s what every instructor hopes a new participant will do:

1. Know What The Class Is

It’s amazing how often people wonder in to register complete surprise the body pump involves weights.

2. Be Early

I know you have a job and this isn’t always possible but if you tell me you’re new I can help you setup (if equipment is needed) or I can explain what you can expect. I almost always tell new people that in a class involving lost of choreography there will be times you’re a little lost but this is normal and over time it’ll get easier.

3. Talk To Me!

Any instructor will (or should) ask if anyone is injured, unwell or pregnant. If you’re asthmatic just tell me, id rather know than panic when I see you reach for your inhaler. Injured or pregnant? Maybe I can keep an eye on you to offer options that are more suited to you.

This also applies to the end of the class. If you want to ask me about something you struggled with then do, it is my job to teach and whilst I cannot speak for other instructors, I am always happy to give you a few minutes of my time.

4. Be Brave

This applies to stepping foot into the studio, lifting that leg a little higher in aerobics, pushing a little harder on those sprints in spin or adding a little weight to that bar in body pump. When you’re brave you face that feeling of real breathlessness, real burning in your muscles and that my friend, is where you get results. I will always commend you if you work hard.

Image reproduced from mylessseriouslife.blogspot.com

A Metaphor for Self-Esteem

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Where does your self-image come from?

If your opinion of yourself often comes from what people say to you and how they treat you, then perhaps you will find this idea helpful.

Imagine yourself as a blank canvas. When you hear negative comments, if you take them to heart and start to believe them, you are letting others splash paint on your canvas. They can make of you what they like; your sense of who you are is then defined by other people’s opinions. This is their arrogance winning over your confidence; it leaves you confused, doubting, miserable and self-loathing. You are allowing them to tell you who you are. You have no control and no significance in your own life.

Truthfully, your canvas is not blank. You are covered in complex painted images, accumulated throughout your life. You are a painting, complex and unique in your own way. You are the only one who holds the paintbrush, because your self-esteem is all in your own mind. The only one who is living your life, the only one who has the right to decide what you are is you. People may mistake you for a blank canvas but that simply isn’t true. You are a complete painting already, with your own talents, interests, values and thoughts.

All paintings invite interpretation. That’s as far as others can go; they can interpret you, but they cannot change what’s on your canvas. Art critics are not painters. Some people enjoy portraits, some enjoy nature scenes. Just because someone does not understand or appreciate your personality, they do not change you. You are no less valuable. Some people hate Picasso’s paintings but he is still one of the greatest artists in history. His work speaks for itself.

What’s on your canvas? What do you believe in, what are you good at and what have you done in your life? Nobody can change those things. Frame your painting, study it, and own it. It’s the only one of its kind.

Image reproduced from http://paint-brushes-guide.blogspot.com

First Date Fashion Tips

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Valentine’s Day has been and gone but what happens if you’re still single after February 14? The prospect of first dates and meeting Mr Right is still very much on the single girl’s agenda. Personal Stylist Katie Bowen has some top fashion tips for first date outfits…

When you’re single, deciding what to wear for a first date can equal major fashion pressure. There is so much expectation. A romantic date can also be a time when some women feel the need to shift into overdrive, opting for cutesy heart prints in shades of red and pink.

Sorry, ladies, that’s “definitely cliché”. You should definitely show your personal style by adhering to your own rules instead of what you think you should be wearing. ‘Happy, confident, chic and sexy’ is about the right level you should be aiming for.

So for some advice on how to go about choosing your outfit…

What’s a great dinner date outfit?

Nothing is better than a little dress. I think you want to be seductive but also, you don’t want to scare the person. Wearing a mini-dress with heels can display confidence. Make sure you keep warm by wearing thick tights and a statement necklace – with bright-red matte lipstick to remind those looking of your lips.

What about a casual date?

For a casual affair, I would recommend dark jeans paired with a tiered top and heels. While creating a slimming effect, dark denim offers a chic versatility. A tiered shirt is both flirty and feminine and can really polish off your look.

Accessories?

Show off your style with your shoes. A great clutch is also a lovely finishing touch.

Can you paint the town red in red?

Red has always been a trademark colour of love, but I think it should be used in moderation. Too much red can be distracting. Instead, use as an accent colour to brighten up an outfit, like a black dress with a pair of red heels.

What should I avoid?

Avoid anything you don’t feel comfortable and confident in. A date is time to show your best self. Don’t try and pull off that trend you saw in the magazine earlier in the day if it doesn’t feel right. Stick with what you know.

For further style advice, contact Personal Stylist, Katie Bowen – www.styko-stylist.co.uk

Pomegranates: Advice for Overwhelming Situations

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London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about dealing with overwhelming situations. Follow Sloan on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s website www.sloansw.com

A good friend of mine often asks me to retell this story as he says it has helped develop the way he handles situations. I therefore have included it below, but before I start I should explain this friend is an INTJ, also known as a strategist or more commonly a fixer.

To be a good fixer you have to think clinically. Emotions can be messy. Medics have it easy, they can tuck those pesky feelings neatly away and step into a clean sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture, and close. If you are lucky you haven’t accidentally left a towel in there and the problem is fixed.

But sometimes you’re faced with a problem that isn’t just medical but one that involves emotions, like a fresh cut that rips its stitches wide open – that’s when I believe the tale of pomegranates comes into effect.

Whatever your type the following information is invaluable to a balanced life, I hope you enjoy the tale and pass it on.

A wise man once told me a story he read in a book involving a junior doctor and his mentor.  It originates from advice passed down through the generations, unfortunately proper attribution cannot be given as I was not told the name of the book, but I thank the originator of this tale.

So, one fine morning…

The junior doc peered into the waiting room and called his first patient of the day. It was an easy case as his mentor had already told him the cure was pomegranates. On examination the junior doc was relieved that there were no hidden traps. He confidently told his patient that he had a liver infection and that the cure was a simple dose of pomegranates. To his dismay, the patient yelled, told him he was incompetent and stormed out of the surgery, leaving a dumfounded student questioning his mentor.

As luck would have it, there was another patient in the surgery, that too with the exact same infliction so the mentor took the opportunity to teach how it should be done. He called the patient into his office, carried out the exact same tests then calmly sat back and thought quietly. After a few minutes he hesitated then said “you need something, red, fleshy”…he paused momentarily “hmmmmm something high in anti-oxidants and a good water content” he paused again then blurted out “pomegranates, you need pomegranates” as if he had just solved the mystery of the Turin shrowd. The patient got up, hugged the doctor, thanked him and walked out of the office with a spring in his step.

The junior doc was dismayed as he had given the exact same remedy until his mentor explained that what both patients needed was pomegranates and TIME!

In this modern world what so many of us forget is that the human psyche needs time to digest and reacclimatise to information. Sometimes what we don’t do is every bit as powerful as that which we do do.

I think of this story often when advising my clients. In this modern day world we are so rarely given time to think, breathe, cope, strategise, improve, figure out, etc… An ENTJ like myself and an INTJ, the person who requested I publish an article on this topic often need to be reminded of pomegranates. Maybe you do too?

Many other types especially go getters need to be reminded to slow down and that fixing situations although useful sometimes need a dash of TIME. So, if someone in your life needs a situational awareness check, send them this article and then yell “pomegranates”, you will be amazed at how useful it is. Even more useful, tell yourself “pomegranates” too, because in those moments where we all push too hard, taking a step back accompanied by a deep breathe often allows the fog to clear and provides us with the courage to move forward.

Image reproduced from www.myplantwhiz.com

Dating in the Workplace – Recipe for Disaster?

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London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about workplace dating. Follow Sloan on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s website www.sloansw.com

Dating at work is definitely becoming more commonplace but just because everyone else is doing it, does that mean you should too? If that was the case then I’d dye my hair the new trendy shade of orange in the style of Pixie Geldof and watch as my clients flocked anywhere but my therapy couch!

Dating is a form of interaction - in the olden days more a courtship. With the hours of workers increasing and the recession playing its part in the reduction in socialising, is it any wonder we are looking to find love over the photocopier?

The muddy waters tend to appear if you work in very close proximity or the hierarchy of either of your positions has an effect on your working life.

I am not saying you cannot meet the perfect person for you at work, but just before you jump in with both feet, perhaps ask yourself:

1. Is this just a natural progression as we spend so much time together and we would like to get to know each other on a romantic level?

2. Would I still have chosen to date my current object of affection if I managed my time better, accepted a few more invitations out with my friends and opened myself up to meeting new people?

If your answer to the first question was yes, perhaps take the leap but don’t forget your safety net. If you answered yes to the second, run while you still can – you deserve better.

I Want a Baby – Is It the Right Time?

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London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about when to have a baby. Follow Sloan on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s website www.sloansw.com

Clearly from your question, you realise now isn’t the time for you to have a child. But it also sounds like you are not too far from your desired goal so well done for being so self-aware. They say that it is in a child’s best interest to be born into a safe, stable & nurturing relationship but you do not have to look too far to see that some celebs now show that single parenting is far more acceptable than 30 years ago.

I say this because I wish to stress it is not that you are single that makes me answer in the way that I am but, from what you have said so far, your desire to get pregnant may be tied to a need to recreate the mother-child bond you say you have missed. Perhaps the first step for you is to look into your current friendships and relationships and nuture these rather than looking for unconditional love in the wrong places.

My advice is to read some self-esteem/confidence books and realise that you are perfect just the way you are. Then gradually work on trusting just one or two of your closer friends with the little things until you realise that you are a capable individual that has a lot to offer in the world and likewise some of your friends are too.

When this all clicks, I am sure you will attract a partner that makes you happy and you will no doubt be a wonderful mother. Your past does not have to be your future. You would not drive your car looking only in the rear view mirror so there is no need to run your life like that.  Take the leap of faith and watch your desires come true. Anything is possible – you just have to believe.

I’m at a Crossroads and Not Sure Which Path to Choose?

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London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about choices and decision making. Follow Sloan Life Coach on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s Life Coaching website www.sloansw.com

Thank you for your question. We all face choices, some harder than others but more often than not the solution is inside you. If you need extra guidance trust in those you choose to keep close to you that have always had your best interests at heart and avoid advice from those with ulterior motives that you highlight in your question.

Nathaniel Hawthorne once wrote “No man, for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true”

There are moments in all our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, and without sat nav! The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Looking at your personal crossroads, it is safe to say we all want the same thing, to look at ourselves in the mirror and find the person looking back at us is the person we want to be. Well…maybe right now you feel you still need some work, you are not alone, a lot of us do – but for every voice telling us we can’t or we won’t be that person, we need to balance that and focus on the supportive inner voices telling us how to move forward along the right path. Some of us are even lucky enough to have an inner circle of friends and family supporting us on the journey or in other cases a team of medics. It sounds from your question you have a great support network, trust in them and remember to ask for help.

There’s an old proverb that says you can’t choose your family. You take what the fates hand you. And like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not, you cope. Then there’s the school of thought that says the family you’re born into is simply a starting point. They feed you, and clothe you, and take care of you as best they can until you’re ready to go out into the world and find your tribe.

And your tribe, that inner circle, they are your soulmates, your support network, the ones you choose to love, they are also special. The ties that binds us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic. Because some ties are simply… meant to be… and some are not! But those ties, the ones that defy all odds, they are the most special…they are also family. It is these people who will help you at your crossroads.

More often than not, happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends,  good family (the ones you are given and the ones you choose) and the quiet nobility of leading a good exocentric life.

Whatever path you choose at your crossroads, wake up each morning and embrace your new path. Each morning choose to move forward and do not contemplate the alternative i.e to simply give up. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back, but who said the unknown was scary. Perhaps this crossroads is the biggest most exciting adventure yet for you. All songs end, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy the music. Perhaps the journey is also meant to be enjoyed and those you take with you the jewel in the crown.

So make that decision, take that leap, live your life and most importantly do it TODAY!

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