Here’s a question for all the single people out there:- Do you remember when you used to go on dates? We mean proper, actual dates with people you’ve developed a connection with in-person, not someone you spoke to the day before on a dating app or a website. Are you even old enough to remember that? Are you aware that there was a world that existed before Tinder and all of its variants came into our lives and completely ruined the art of dating?
As dominant as it is in the dating market, we have a statistic about Tinder that might just surprise you. Most of the people that use it don’t actually enjoy doing so. Everyone struggles to turn a Tinder date into a full-blown relationship. Almost everyone has the same stories of coming across people who either openly only want to hookup, or later turn out to have only wanted to hookup after spending hours trying to convince you otherwise before the hookup happened. We use Tinder (and Bumble, and Grindr) not because we love to engage with it, but because we fear that we’ll be left alone and lonely if we don’t. In the few short years that dating apps like this have existed, we’ve somehow convinced ourselves that this is where all the single people are, and we have to engage with it if we want to find one to connect with.
This isn’t the case, and it’s high time we stopped thinking like that. There are success stories that have come out of Tinder, and we acknowledge that. It’s a lottery, though. The way you swipe through options on the app is the same as the way you swipe to spin again on a mobile slots game. The process you go through in your mind is the same, too. If you don’t get anything from one spin when playing mobile slots, you spin again. Don’t like the look of who you see on Tinder? Swipe away from them. If you keep spinning a mobile slots game on website like Rose Slots, you’ll eventually come away with a win. The same is, again, probably true of Tinder, but the process of getting there can be exhausting. Crucially, it’s not the only way to do it. Here are some other things you might want to consider instead.
Ask A Friend
Like you’re using a lifeline on a popular television game show, ask a friend if they know anyone single and suitable for you. We hate to break this to you, but your friends have friends of their own. It’s incredibly unlikely that you know everyone that they know socially. They might know someone either through their social life or through their work colleagues who would be absolutely perfect for you – and all you have to do is ask them to hook you up.
Your friend already knows you better than a dating app ever could and has your best interests at heart. They wouldn’t send you out on a date with someone they didn’t feel was right for you. They might be dying to play matchmaker for you, but don’t feel it’s their place to do it. There’s a very good reason you should start by speaking to your friends if you’re looking for love – almost 40% of all relationships begin this way.
Remember when this was a fad, somewhere around the year 2000? You might look back on it now and laugh, but you shouldn’t. Speed dating events still happen, and they’re a great way to potentially meet interesting people. There’s a lot to be said for meeting people in the flesh as opposed to meeting them digitally. They’re less likely to forward or bold, and you get to see the ‘real’ them as opposed to the version they create when using a dating app (we all do it). You probably won’t have able to have a detailed conversation with someone in the time that’s allowed to you on a dating app, but you should be able to get enough of a feel for someone to decide whether you want to see them again.
Open Your Eyes At Work
Here’s a little tip for you. If you work somewhere that as a strict no-dating rule for employees, it’s time you started looking for another job. No company or the organization has the right to declare who you do or don’t become romantically involved with, and the fact of the matter is that many relationships begin at work. The people we work with are the people we spend most of our time around. Over time, we get to see every aspect of their personality, including how they react to good times and bad. You can build a complete picture of what it would be like to date a colleague before you even consider whether you want to do so. If you work in a large enough department, staying out of their way during working hours so as to maintain a professional relationship shouldn’t be impossible.
Go Out And Mingle!
This is the way our parents used to do it, and their grandparents before them. Somehow, the human race didn’t die out before there were dating apps to bring us together. We simply had to go and speak to people in the flesh and use our mouths instead of our fingers to communicate. Yes, it did sometimes feel awkward and embarrassing. Yes, on occasion, you may get rejected. Most people are kind enough to do it in an understanding manner. That’s what makes it exciting. If your life is feeling a little empty, go out and do more. Socialize more. Join clubs and interest groups and develop new hobbies. Put yourself where people are, and give yourself the chance to meet them. That’s far more rewarding than simply swiping and swiping until you happen upon someone whose face you vaguely like the look of on a digitally retouched photo.
Give yourself a chance to find romance outside this cyber prison we’ve all built for ourselves. Put the phone down, go outside, and start dating.
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