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Thank you for your detailed query. I have summarised your question as above but noted all the intricacies. From your description, it seems that this type of conflict is that of the J/P divide – Judger versus Perceiver. As a Judger, some things seem obvious to you that are just a mere perception to your business partner. The best way forward is for clear communication about your needs & wants and some clear-cut goals.
What you describe as laziness is most likely his perceiving part overshadowing the more logical part. From what you describe, he is just trying to get away with what I like to call the “head in the sand manoeuvre” in the attempt that someone else will do his workload.
If you make it clear that you are unable to carry him any longer, and that you expect a fair division of work, you will no doubt find that he will pass his share of the work off on to someone else under the guise that he has too much work to do. It is this very action that should highlight to you that this is not a personal attack on you and is not your issue. Some people are just different. There is no wrong or right method but there is a method that produces a more successful end product.
To a Judger, avoiding issues and not pulling one’s weight may seem irrational but go easy on the Perceiver. The tasks you set him may not be as easy for him as they are for you and - although he is just showing his limitations - it really is not one’s place to judge. This is indeed hard for a J to hear but is being right really worth a conflict at work?
Know your own parameters, stick to them and if possible try to find the strengths in your colleague. You also appear to be an N so perhaps see if there is some common ground and look at the bigger picture rather than get tied down with the minutiae of who does what.
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About the Author: Sloan Sheridan-Williams is currently known for her work as one of the leading “diagnostitians in the complementary therapy world” with a wealth of experience from over a decade of practice. Sloan was originally known in her capacity as an experienced therapist and success coach, but she is impossible to pigeon hole. Over the last 15 years, she has had the opportunity to work in many different arenas from legal to political, medical to media, and corporate to academia. Educated at Oxford University where she originally read Medicine, Sloan then attended University College London before converting to Law studying at the College of Law. Sloan continued her education at Hertfordshire University and then at King’s College London, to name but a few. Sloan has enough experience of someone twice her age. Sloan has collaborated with some of the finest institutions in the country, if not the world and has had the pleasure to work with some very talented individuals taking them to even greater heights. She now writes as Sloan on numerous projects, while still finding the time to continue as a therapist and coach. On a slight tangent to her medical background, her side interest is Medical Ethics, in which she acquired a Masters of Law. In her spare time, when she is not fundraising for numerous charities or coaching rowing, Sloan is often seen debating with the best on topical issues.