Men – Can They Ever Get It Right?

Sweeping remark I know, and just as easily, so are women… however, based on that premise:

1. How do you ever find somebody of your standing?
2. How do you ensure that the terms are equitable?
3. How is it then sustainable for weeks, months or even years?

Chemistry has a lot to answer for! In my opinion, you are attracted, not attracted or become attracted over time. If there is instant attraction then your chances of survival are already sitting at around 80%. Not attracted then maybe you need to look at other qualities beyond instant chemistry which can then lead to become attracted over time, where survival is between 60-70% (with a huge injection of effort).

Hmmmm! Effort, being a woman I think that it should be weighted a minimum of 60:40 male to female ratio. As a traditionalist I still believe in the whole art of courting, flowers, romance and candlelit dinners especially in the early stages, because that’s how you know that the man is actually prepared to go out of his way to make you feel special (unless he has other more sexually driven motives).

For a woman feeling special is important, and when you don’t feel this, the whole attraction thing starts to disintegrate and you think, why am I bothering, because you’re not! For men already bordering on the 60-70% zone because women are looking for other qualities that were not instantly there, your chances are very slim at this stage (unless your skills between the sheets are off the scale).

I don’t understand why men don’t get that women need to feel special. Even if they are not the centre of your universe for goodness sake make them feel that way. It doesn’t take much to send them a really sweet or even mind blowing cross your legs type text, email, call them, anything.

No, or very little communication is a killer.

A friend of mine has this ‘thing/friendship’ and her man talks to her every day, sends her messages, calls her, makes her laugh, sings to her and even tries to entice her into the world of al a carte KFC (that made me smile)… the point is he makes the effort and she feels special.

It’s not about how much you can lavish her with gifts, it is about making her aware that she is in your head and you have to communicate that otherwise she will find somebody who does. Women want attention, I know that we are demanding and fickle but that’s the bottom line.

As I am in full swing now there are other things that men should or shouldn’t do if they are looking for sustainability and not just a quick fumble. Do make her feel like a princess, do surprise her and plan things, do share with her and open up your world to her. Don’t assume that she’s happy especially when she says “fine!”, don’t generically ask her how her day has been when you know there was something specific she did – ask her about it and don’t ever take the attitude “well she hasn’t messaged me so I won’t message her” – bad move!

So that’s it, rant over with for today …… just one last thing – never promise her the world when you cannot even offer a tiny geographical part of it.

It’s Friday, so I guess if you’re male, go procrastinate until Monday. My female friends, no point on searching or hoping for a Christian Grey over the weekend (Shhhhh! He doesn’t exist, get over it and settle for second best).

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About Sharon Yull

Sharon Yull is an academic, researcher, business consultant and published author of over twenty business and computing books and publications.She is qualified with a BSc, MSc, HND in Business and Finance, PGCE, Fellow of the Institute for Learning and also an Associate of the Assessors Institute. Sharon enjoys reading, swimming, outdoor pursuits, theatre, music and travelling. She is an inherent romantic always there to offer support, guidance and a shoulder to cry or laugh on.
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