Is Variety the Spice of Life?

Spice_Up_Sex_LifeIs it? I don’t know, and to some extent it will always be dependent on what variety you are referring to – preferences in men, women, or sex!

They say ‘generic they’ that women tend to always navigate towards bad boys, look at Rihanna and Chris Brown – treat them mean and keep them keen.  Men that have a little bit of an attitude, take risks, can be controlling and also a little bit mysterious in terms of not always knowing what is going on in their heads.

They say that men prefer blondes ….but after doing some research I think that the scales are at the very least now balanced towards brunettes and possibly even surpassed by brunettes.

Sex, well I guess variety and spice will always be welcomed, that has been proved by the success of Mr Grey and Anastasia.  But I guess the question is how much spice?

I have friends who for many years just had sex, plain old vanilla on your back sex.  The thought of anything other than that with their respective partners seemed all too much. For the partners their perception of sex certainly did not extend further than the one position, no foreplay and definitely no aids.  However, changing the formula or the partner has since opened the spice cabinet completely.  Now through exploration they have slowly been introduced to the world of Ann Summers, multi-position sex, foreplay, role play and whatever play you can cram into hours’ worth of bedroom fun.  I remember going round one evening for a girlie night and being presented with a bag of all sorts of goodies, some of which required a degree to master, as no instructions were included – oh how we laughed!

So in terms of sex – how much spice is required to suitably flavour the occasion, and more importantly how much spice do you have in your life?

Do you or would you consider the following:

1    Role play – dressing up and acting out a sexual fantasy (I am told that the hotel stranger one works well, knock on the door with champagne)

2  Outside sex – taking risks, against a wall in an alleyway, over the bonnet of a car, in the woods, public transport, mile-high?

3  Rough sex, hair pulling, scratching, biting, being pinned down or restrained?

4   Whips, baby oil, single cream and chocolate – or using your body as a platter (the vision of Samantha in SATC  laid out on the table covered in sushi flashed across my mind then – so be warned, can backfire)

5   Dominatrix – now that’s a whole new article

6   Voyeurism – in the back of a taxi maybe knowing that the driver is peering through the mirror?

7   Threesomes – I know possibly more of a male fantasy, but two men – Mmmm could have its merits

8   S&M – for some maybe, dungeons, suspension, anticipation ….Mr Grey

9   Sex with a stranger – one off, no hang-ups just carnal sex

10  Swinging – attending a party or just impromptu following a dinner party or get together

I would say that if you have tried half of these you’re doing well and maybe your spice level is medium-hot.  One or two a bit mild – maybe try harder, over seven hot! All of them well I guess you are the Vindaloo of spicy.

The problem is that if you are not getting the spice you want, that’s when you look towards the variety element, and that could mean a change in lifestyle or partner.  If you are happy with your partner but still crave the spice you might have to be brave and instigate some spice into your life. If that doesn’t work then maybe seek out somebody that will willingly oblige (not necessarily advocating number nine) to provide all the spice you need.

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About Sharon Yull

Sharon Yull is an academic, researcher, business consultant and published author of over twenty business and computing books and publications.She is qualified with a BSc, MSc, HND in Business and Finance, PGCE, Fellow of the Institute for Learning and also an Associate of the Assessors Institute. Sharon enjoys reading, swimming, outdoor pursuits, theatre, music and travelling. She is an inherent romantic always there to offer support, guidance and a shoulder to cry or laugh on.
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