Can you really fall in love with someone as soon as you meet them? Or do people all too often confuse love with lust?
We regularly make up our mind within 3 minutes of meeting someone to see if that person is suited to us and if we are attracted to them. But it takes a mere one second to decide if this person is physically attractive to us or not. Hair, face, clothes, height, shoes.
You can like someone an awful lot when you meet them. You can instantly feel attracted to someone, by the way they look or a look they give you. A certain smell can get your juices flowing and it can make you want to do lurid things to that person right there and then. Meeting someone and have everything in common with them too. Does this mean that you are in love with them? No it certainly does not, it just means you’ve got very lucky and met someone with the same interests as you. You’ve met someone with brains and beauty who you would like to bed immediately, this does not correlate to being in love with someone. Outside of giving birth to your child, the mere notion of falling in love with someone as soon as you meet them is a concept which has always fascinated and astounded me.
I have had a number of boyfriends; I haven’t been in love with all of them. I have felt an attraction to all of them and have either fancied or lusted after them shortly after meeting them all. Not once however did I realise that after looking into their eyes did I decide that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them. Nor did I realise that after 10 minutes of their scintillation conversation about the latest Matt Damon movie or, the latest venture on YouTube did I realise that my life would never be complete without them. After 10 minutes I would sometimes be wondering why I hadn’t been offered a drink; but never wondered why I hadn’t been offered a hand in marriage. If this was the case I would have so far spend a large proportion of my adult life disappointed (sigh).
I have been left wondering how some people can claim that they have conjured up feelings of actual love after a meeting their mate after such a brief encounter. I blame childhood fairy-tales and the Cinderella stories of our childhood. It’s the feelings of wanting and desire that some people instantly feel on a first date or meeting. Some people know that as soon as they have met this person they know they are going to marry them. I however have never encountered such ‘luck’.
For me love is something which needs to be a gradual process of emotions and feeling about someone and something which has to be felt deep inside you once you actually know the person. Not something which can be felt on the spot as soon as you meet them. Those butterfly feelings you get in your stomach and anywhere else you may feel this is a sexually attractive spark which can make you feel giddy with pleasure. It’s not love. How can you love someone that you know nothing about? Ok so you know he likes Opera and is a vegetarian like you too. Brilliant. Hitler also enjoyed Opera and vegetarianism; does it mean you would have loved him too? No it does not.
The feelings of lust are very similar to that of being in love, it’s warm and fuzzy and it makes you do crazy things for that person. Being in love is such a wonderful feeling, it makes you feel like the two of you are in your own bubble and as long as you are together then nothing can get through you or tear you apart. It makes you feel like a stronger person, knowing that as long as you have that person by your side you can achieve anything. Being in love allows you to share everything with that person. Now how can anyone feel that after a rum and coke and a meet and greet? Either that or I am a crazy cynic who’s never been that lucky!
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