Is it Ever OK to Get Back With an Ex?

We’ve all been there, the love of our lives (or so we think) has trampled over our hearts and shattered our illusions of love.  Everything was going so smoothly until he tells you he’s not ready for a relationship!  You’re left crying into your cosmo wondering what it is you said or did wrong.  But 2 weeks later he’s begging for forgiveness and a free pass to your La Perla twin set.  It’s as if they know as soon as you start to get over them, then that’s their que to call.

But the question is, should you ever take an ex back?  Remember they are an ex for a reason.  If they dumped you then it should really be a flat out no!  But life is never that simple.  There are lots of reasons that getting back with an ex seems like the right thing to do.

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You do love him for sure, of course you do.  You want to stop the searing pain that you’re feeling right now, and lying in his arms is the only way to do this.  He knows all your weird and kooky ways.  He’s the only one who knows that you secretly like to watch scrapheap challenge in your onesie.  Its comfortable and its easy, you don’t have to try with an ex.  He knows what you like and you complement each other in the bedroom.  He’s sorry and he’s going to change and you are the only one for him.  Everyone can change right?  And everyone deserves a second chance right?  Wrong.

However as dreamy as this may sound (and it does sound dreamy), remember why you broke up in the first place.  If somebody needs to be reminded that they are in love you, or they need time away from you to realise that they love you.  Then they don’t love you.  They’ve just realised that the grass is not greener, juicer or more bootylicious on the other side.  Its dark and full of traffic light nights in the local.  Getting back with an ex can be fun in the short term.  You have forgiven him and the two of you are like newlyweds again.  Its like the first dates without the nerves and the ‘will we wont we’ anticipation.  However this can be detrimental in the long term.  Wondering if and when he is going to do this again is the biggest worry.  If he suddenly gets cold feet again and after 6 months you’re back in the same position pouring over the same cosmopolitan wondering where you went wrong.

If however you decide to give him a second chance then remember he should get one last chance and one last chance only.  Reasons depending but personally I believe that its only worth getting back with an ex if you’re going to marry them, ideally he should have a ring ready (but that’s another article).  Otherwise there’s always room for another sharp exit perhaps….

If you are unfortunate enough to break up more than once then remember it gives him the green light to do this again as he knows that after a bit of begging and a bit of grovelling he knows that you will always take him back!

Have some respect ladies in the words of Taylor Swift, ‘We are never, ever, getting back together!’

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About Rebecca Ripley

Rebecca is a blogger who spends her time writing about dating and relationships. She likes to draw on some of her friends dating faux pas and also writes about past relationship issues and current ones too. Rebecca often uses humour to make light of dating disasters and relationship no goes. She studied Film Studies with Women’s Studies at Gloucestershire University. Rebecca is an animal print fanatic and loves shoes. She enjoys hip hop, dancing and hanging out with her girlfriends.

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