How Old is Too Old?

When I think of people in relationships that I know, then most people dating or married are both of a similar age.  This is normally because people either meet in bars where alike aged people go, through friends who are normally of similar age.  There’s not normally more than a 7 or 8 year age gap at the most.  However for some people then being with an older partner is an attraction.  Especially for some women.  This is mainly due to the older the man is, the more likely he will be to wanting to settle down or have children.  He’s sown his oats and slept with every barmaid this side of Margate.  For some women a 20 year age gap can be attractive.  He’s matured, not interested in getting absolutely spannered on a Friday and Saturday night, gawping at the locals in white stiletto’s and faces that will rival that of a pumpkins.  He prefers to stay home with good wine and cheese I expect.  This may be all well and good if you are looking for a more mature man who knows a Chablis from a Sauvignon.  Wine and cheese man is the man for you.


But what happens when you want to settle down and stop gawping at the local Lyle and Scott shirt and shoes combo?  You’ve hit 30 and you want babies, but you can’t because wine and cheese man is pushing 50 and would rather swap ovulating with ovaltine.  What about the 20 years after that and the kids (if any) have left home and you can look forward to slowing down a bit and maybe start to enjoy fine cheeses.  Then he is 70 and well he is enjoying his meals through a straw and couldn’t care less what wine you got as long as he was able to drink it unaided.

So far I’ve only mentioned a 20 year age gap, what about the couples (and there are some out there) who opt for partners who are 30 years their senior.   Personally I believe that there is always going to be a struggle with each other’s interests and similar tastes, when there is such a big age gap.  One of you is reminiscing about Toady from Home and Away and the other one is remembering Dallas (first time round).  Music tastes differ, while your still clinging on to your garage and dancehall albums, he’s doing his dad routine to Ray Charles.

People have all sorts of reasons for wanting to date older men or women.  I think when the situation is reversed an older woman and a younger man, society tends to view this as something fun and playful.  A 40 something woman with a 20 something year old man is seen a bit cheeky and a bit trendy.  It’s not something that is supposed to last and supposed to be anything long term.  Normally the woman has children of her own (possibly about the same age).  Also with the woman being that much older, most men (I use the term loosely) are immature at 20, so how far could it ever really go.  I remember being 20 and not even wanting to date 20 year olds.  When I think of 20 year old boys no matter how good looking some of them may be, they just remind me of my brother, who 21 going on 12.  The thought of dating someone that age does not entertain me in the slightest, the toilet humour and the prospect of jagerbombs to entice me.  However what with men peaking at 19 and women peaking in their 30s and 40’s is it any wonder people of similar age stay together!

Turn the tables around and he is either a pervert or very rich (so society says).  Men using women for fun at that age and it is frowned upon.  Women using men for fun is empowering.

I just personally think that if you are going to date someone who is much older than you need to be prepared for what may lie ahead.  Sure it’s fun to start with and age is just a number, but it’s when things get serious and there are children wanting to be involved.  Age becomes much more than a big number and more of a very big inconvenience.  Just make sure you know your Stilton from your Single Gloucester.

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About Rebecca Ripley

Rebecca is a blogger who spends her time writing about dating and relationships. She likes to draw on some of her friends dating faux pas and also writes about past relationship issues and current ones too. Rebecca often uses humour to make light of dating disasters and relationship no goes. She studied Film Studies with Women’s Studies at Gloucestershire University. Rebecca is an animal print fanatic and loves shoes. She enjoys hip hop, dancing and hanging out with her girlfriends.
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