London Life Coach & Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams talks about miscarriage, Kelly Brook and how to get over losing a baby. Follow Sloan on Twitter @SloanSW_London and check out Sloan’s website www.sloansw.com
Thank you for your question and I am very sorry for your loss. You do not say in which trimester you were in however whenever it happened this situation is traumatic for any couple. I am very pleased to hear on a physiological level that your doctors have given you the OK to try again and have no qualms with you being successful a second time however I also understand and hear your point that although the doctors treat the physiological symptoms you only have your husband to turn to for the psychological symptoms and although it sounds like he is a rock this has obviously been hard on both of you.
The first stage you have probably already gone through is grief which is perfactly natural. Both our conscious and subconscious do not like the thought of loss and react badly to situations where there is such.
In addition your body will be going through hormonal changes which can hinder your recovery process.
The most important thing to remember here is that this is a devastating situation and there is no right or wrong way to react to such. The best advice is to sit in a room with only you and your thoughts and come up with an action plan of how long you think is suitable to accept and go with the emotions of self-pity, fear, grief, distress or guilt or whatever emotion you are feeling and make that date your deadline. Such a date can be a day from now, a week from now or a month from now however when that day comes – especially as you have a supportive partner – it is time to brave the big bad world and just do something like go out for dinner or a comedy club or the theatre and realise it’s OK to laugh and move on and although life has its mysterious twists and turns that you will bounce back from this and no-one will think any less of you whether it takes a month or a year.
A good role model and celebrity who has been in the spotlight after the loss of her daughter when she was five months into her pregnancy is Kelly Brook. Again like you her boyfriend (Thom Evans) have been supporting each other. As she has a public following, the day she finally stepped back into the real world unlike you she had to do it publicly and although Kelly has had a difficult few months, she managed to update her Twitter followers thanking them for their love and support and has finally been seen venturing out on her first public engagement in London since her miscarriage.
All of us at City Connect wish you the best for a speedy recovery and emotional bounce back. We don’t expect you to bury or hide your feelings about such a dramatic loss but I for one know that if you are strong enough to write and ask for help I have no doubt that before long you will be strong enough to return to work and your original life.
Good luck with your recovery. If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to get in touch. I also hope to hear from any of you who have gone through the same situation and have helpful tips to help and support our distressed reader. Please leave your comments below.
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