Does Age Really Matter?

Helen McCrory with Callum Turner in the ITV1 drama, ‘Leaving’

After watching an ITV1 drama the other night called Leaving about an older woman and younger man relationship, I started to think …. If you are attracted to somebody, does age really matter as long as you are both consenting adults?

It seems that there are certain tolerance levels, triggered by who is dating who!  If a man is dating a younger woman, pat on the back for being able to pull it off.  If a woman is dating a younger man, society conditions us into thinking ‘cougar’! Although I am led to believe that to be a cougar there needs to be around a 10 year differentiation in age.

I have friends that are happily married to older men 5-10 years in difference which works perfectly well.  No sugar daddy entitlements or ideas of wealth and inheritance if they pop off in the very foreseeable future.  They are in it based on love and all the other mutual conditions that come with marriage.

Isn’t it funny though how women are quite hung up on age and what is an accepted parameter for dating a man, whereas men seem to have no code of conduct?  If they like the person, who cares about the age factor!

Women really do get a rough ride in terms of dating and relationships I think.  We jump through hoops and all that crap to put ourselves out there, getting noticed, being stimulating company, looking good, trying not to be too pushy …..and we do all that and can still end up feeling insecure because the person we like is younger.

Who states that you can only be with somebody that fits into the strapline of + or – x years?  Who has the right to ever so slightly raise their eyebrows when you integrate a younger man into your social circle?  And …… I have heard this said by an older male friend before when discussing this topic, and I quote ‘but wouldn’t that make you/them old enough to be their mother’!  OUCH …..

So why is there this issue still of older women and younger men, when seemingly this does not apply if the man is older or a man is dating a younger woman?  Have the high profile celebrity media with the likes of Demi Moore, Mariah Carey, Susan Sarandon, Halle Berry and Candace Bushnell not taught us anything!

And…. What is it with this term ‘cougar’ that older women intentionally and territorially seek out younger men for the intent of having sex, possibly a relationship.  The thrill of the chase and the victory of the conquest – is that how all older women are perceived when they date younger men.  These poor innocent what’s the term ‘cubs’ who need protecting from sexually charged predators.  You know what, to hell with it all! Men know exactly what they are doing when they get together with an older woman.  For them they get a woman who knows their own mind and what they want from life and yes even sex. Older women know what turns them on and more importantly what buttons to press to get a reaction.  Forget quick fumbles and inexperience, you want mind blowing sex, go older ……

So if younger men don’t have a problem with older women and all the many pleasures that they can bring, why should anybody else? Let us analyse here which sectors of society do –hmmmm!  that would be older men who obviously feel quite threatened and insecure, and other women who are just emerald green with jealousy that you have that certain spark that obviously for them was either never lit or extinguished some time ago.

So in reality does age matter? Well the statistics show that relationships between older women and younger men are on the increase.  The amount of dating sites that are devoted to niche match mating for older/younger is certainly a growth industry and the fantasy of being seduced or seducing a Mrs Robinson is surely high up there on the list.

So why fight it ….. if you’re attracted to somebody, somebody that makes your  heart pound, your mind race and your thoughts opaque, what can I say – screw it all …… oh! and screw them too, you pussycat!

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About Sharon Yull

Sharon Yull is an academic, researcher, business consultant and published author of over twenty business and computing books and publications.She is qualified with a BSc, MSc, HND in Business and Finance, PGCE, Fellow of the Institute for Learning and also an Associate of the Assessors Institute. Sharon enjoys reading, swimming, outdoor pursuits, theatre, music and travelling. She is an inherent romantic always there to offer support, guidance and a shoulder to cry or laugh on.
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