Choosing a Guy


Options are always good, right? Having the free will to make informed decisions and make a choice. But how do you choose, how do you know that you have your Louis Vuitton opposed to some cheap imitation?

All of my articles are built on real experiences and encounters that friends of mine have had or are continuing to have…. am I envious, sometimes!

So after gathering enough material, it seemed appropriate at this time to (I would like to say put pen to paper) but unfortunately reach for my netbook on the train again and indulge.

I have two friends, different but very much the same in terms of their mentality, outlook on life, opinions about men and types of men that stimulate them.

Between them they could rather smugly state that they are in positions where they get to choose, but as with most men small cracks always start to surface which makes them consider other options.

My mission with this article is to firstly provide guidance for them and allow them to make a choice if they see it presented in black and white and secondly to get women to re-evaluate and be thankful sometimes of what they have or could have.

So here we go, who would you choose?

Number 1
Chris Hemsworth lookalike guy …. tall, blonde, handsome …bit of a playboy but in absolute admiration of my friend.  They have dinners and sleepovers together.  He’s fit; gym fanatic women swoon and men wish they could be him.  Own business, well established social mover. Crack – would break my friend’s heart!

Number 2
Essex guy …. dark eyes, very sexual and dominant, impacted upon my friend in a big way.  The environment is always electric, exciting, mysterious involves role play and has bought new things to the table. Was she in love with him….no! Alex Clare you have a lot to answer for.  Crack – confidence and image issues

Number 3
Irish guy …. A tall, dark, very fit architect.  Would make my friend go weak at the knees when they talked, she would constantly be crossing her legs.  Very much into each other. Messages and texts in their hundreds, voicemails describing what they would do in bed, taxi’s, trains –dangerous liaisons, Mr Grey eat your heart out – wow!  Crack – massive insecurities…. to scared of falling.

Number 4
Younger guy …. different culture and religion – their time was very much in the past.  Very intelligent academic and aspiring engineer, tall, dark, Arabic, elusive – very much so.  Almost broke my friends heart, but time heals everything.  Crack – different pathways, now different people

Number 5
Danish best friend guy  …. when they are apart they work, inside of a relationship they don’t.  Amazing bond of friendship always there for each other, family orientated and successful.  Crack – inability to commit

Number 6
Nice with a streak of naughtiness guy…. absolutely adores my friend, very sexual (shares in Ann Summers) cannot do enough for her, worships the ground that she walks on and can perceive and has communicated a long-term commitment.  Crack – too committed, too soon

Number 7
Intellectual guy…. older very established friendship, quite protective especially if there is somebody else on the scene.  Occasional dinners, stimulating conversation, loves her dearly.  Crack – he had his chance and he blew it.

Number 8
One kiss guy….. lasting impression, spent one week together and every day they talk, he makes her laugh, holds her attention, stimulates her femininity, wants her badly.  Crack – geography

Number 9
New guy ….. a number of dates, they click, like spending time in each other’s company, he makes her laugh, cooks for her, runs her baths, treats her like a princess,  very sexual.  Crack – Northern

Number 10
Mechanic guy…. younger, very skilled with his tools, on the surface could be labelled as superficial ‘love them and leave them type’, but scratch a little deeper and a more caring, emotive side surfaces.  Crack – country and western music  and bowls

So ten options for two friends, gathered from past and present encounters that still impact upon both their lives.  With the majority, a relationship could be forged or re-forged however there are flaws or cracks with each one.

If you had to choose, who would you select? Maybe take a risk with number 1, safe option but not necessarily the right option in number 6.  For my other friend number 9 could be the one, early indications show that they are very much into each other and it is sustainable.  My friend will indeed pay for the Northern remark dearly though.

Having options is always good, however when it comes to matters of the heart we all know that the board is already scattered with players.  So what do you do, how do you find your match, ‘the one’? Well firstly, really think about the person you are with, do they make you happy, are they worthy of you, is there a future?  If you are  single, I would agree that men and women do have pre-defined agendas and rule books in terms of dates or relationships.  Unfortunately this could prevent you from exploring people that do not conform to your ideals.

So here’s a radical proposal …..Maybe get off the board, dispense with the players and throw-away the rule book.  Forget your game plan and just be instinctive, go with it ….stop looking for the cracks and just see the person – filler on stand-by.

Happy endings … six weeks after beginning this article, procrastinating and finally having closure – my friend went with number nine, despite him being Northern.

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About Sharon Yull

Sharon Yull is an academic, researcher, business consultant and published author of over twenty business and computing books and publications.She is qualified with a BSc, MSc, HND in Business and Finance, PGCE, Fellow of the Institute for Learning and also an Associate of the Assessors Institute. Sharon enjoys reading, swimming, outdoor pursuits, theatre, music and travelling. She is an inherent romantic always there to offer support, guidance and a shoulder to cry or laugh on.
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