Brush Away Those Singleton Blues

With the sudden dip of temperature causing us to dust the cobwebs from our hats, gloves and scarves, Winter is definitely here! For most people, thoughts turn to the planning of impending significant family occasions and the countdown to Christmas, but for some, the idea of spending the next few months with only the duvet and a hot water bottle for comfort is a terrifying prospect.

Being single is a double edged sword. Depending on your viewpoint, you can either be the tragic ‘Bridget Jones,’ desperately searching for Mr Right, or see it as a choice to mould your future, embracing experiences and opportunities that present themselves, like the ladies in ‘Sex in the City’. Whilst you may inwardly rejoice the fact you are not ‘tied down’, public displays of affection may unearth a tinge of jealously and lack of companionship after a bad day at work can certainly be disheartening. Nevertheless, it seems that with our changing roles and emergence of the ‘independent’ career driven woman, one no longer feels obliged to move from one relationship to another, in fear of being rejected or viewed as a failure.

As Kelly Rowland and Natasha Beddingfield have musically demonstrated, being single is just another adventure, so whilst the cold chills may restrict your social opportunities, one just has to consider other ways to shrug off that snow blanket.

Keep your friends close
Some of the components that solidify your close relationships, such as communication and familiarity, can provide the comfort and reassurance needed after a painful reminder of an ex, or a frustrating day at the hands of work colleagues. Pick up the phone or go for a cocktail with your friend. You might not get the intimacy you crave, but an entertaining evening of laughs, gossip and hugs is a perfect tonic to lift and distract your mood.

Defy the norm
Whilst it is important to appreciate your friends, show willing at family functions and attend the odd work party, try not to limit yourself to one social circle. You may find that most of your social circle will be comprised of people who are already in a relationship, so use your compass to go out and meet other singletons to widen it. The sudden popularity of speed dating, events organised specifically for singles, and the ‘old-fashioned’ online dating sites, has brought more opportunities for singles. With the less enticing weather setting in, one can now chat, flirt and practice their socialising skills at the click of a button, in the comfort of their home. The idea of snatching your soul mate on the internet may be alluring, but nothing replaces the security of human interaction. So if you are thinking of dipping your toes into the virtual world, keep it light hearted, be sceptical and have fun.

Dip your toes
One of the main advantages of being single is that you stand alone when making choices, which means that if there is a particular career or a thrill seeking adventure you want to pursue, this is the best time to do it. Enjoy the things you are happy doing and people will be drawn to your drive and enthusiasm. When you do have your low points, remember that there are so many other people who are in the same situation, but it is what you choose to do with this new found freedom that will either make it momentus or just another painful memory.

Remember the pros
Like a vacation, being single can refresh you and help you gain perspective. It is a time that allows for spontaneity, abolishes compromise and permits you to dip your toes into the unknown. Used productively, it can create meaningful relationships and ensure you get exactly what you want from life. Patience is crucial, but it is important that you do not wait to be rescued from that knight in shining armour. Instead, confidently explore, realise your own potential and your Prince Charming will turn up with that glass slipper when you least expect it.

“Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies” (Sex in the City)

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About Sarah James-Cyrus

Sarah James-Cyrus is a Civil Servant and a fervent freelance, willing to tackle a wide range of subject matter, her past articles have explored political debates to poignant teen issues. Past and current clients include Teen Caribbean online, Kush magazine, The South London Press, New Black Magazine, Precious Magazine and Flavour. She has also hosted her own show Brent Youth Radio and the UK Unsigned finals. Professionally, she would say she is a visionary, quite opinionated and not afraid to push boundaries. Follow Sarah on Twitter @illusionSJC
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